11.19.2008

Fallout 3: Rules for the Apocalypse

If watching Nick play Fallout 3 for hours on end has taught me anything, it would be the "Post-apocalyptic commandments".
Near as I can tell, the first is Shoot unto others, before others shoot unto you. This is also known as "Thou shalt kill everything that moves, and some things that don't, just to be sure" rule.
The second- Thou shall not steal, unless... You need/want those items... And the owners are dead... For serious.
3rd- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's experience level. You'll get there after referring to rule #1.
4th- Thou shalt carry more artillery than humanly possible. A bazooka, 2 handguns, 5 submachine guns, 31 grenades, 9 mines, 5 shotguns, 14 rifles and a various compilation of other trinkets all fit unnoticeably upon your person.
5th- Thou shalt collect items until physical movement is halted. Then drop a single tiny item, and the ability to walk is magically restored.

...to be continued(maybe)

3 comments:

  1. I'm taking a break the rest of the year, after I finish Fallout 3.

    Hell it might even take till the end of the year to finish.

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  2. also, large areas will be inexplicably unexplorable due to gigantic piles of immovable debris.

    also, thou shalt not question how a scientist somehow manages to create fire breathing ants when attempting to shrink them. what a horrible scientist!

    also, thou shalt not have sex with a woman. your contact with the opposite sex in the apocalypse will be limited to a conversation tinged with erotic undertones followed by you walking alone up to a bed and sleeping in it, only to awake in seconds with her in bed next to you. somehow this pseudo-implicit sexual contact is supposed to suffice.

    also, in the apocalypse, it better for your health to drink out of a toilet than it is to eat a box of mac and cheese

    and don't even think about trying to yield someone. once you start a fight, it's to the death

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