I was hugged today. It was by a young lady in a bear suit.
So I suppose it would be Hannah the HUGGER, but that doesn't have the same ring to it.
Say it out loud: Har-old the HUG-GER!
I was waiting at a stoplight on my bicycle, minding my own business, when all of the sudden it was Guerilla Warfare with cuteness. There was a great blur of brown fur, like an adorable wraith, appearing out of nowhere, and dive-tackling me with hugs. All soft and fluffy, it was horrible. I was almost knocked off my bike. I barely managed to escape being mauled by a 5 ft. Snuggle Bear with sanity intact. Quite embarrassing actually.
Then it tried to get me to buy some trinkets from a massive garage sale.
Great, now everyone will know I was attacked by the mythic Cuddle Beast of Coon Rapids in broad daylight. Yet another encounter with a little known Minnesota Monster with poor marketing skills. This is like the time I had a tea party with a Bigfoot in my neighbor's tree fort. He was out door-to-door selling magazines for a fundraiser.
Usually nobody believes me, but this time I have photographic evidence.
9.30.2009
9.29.2009
WTF!? Google needs to fix this.
OK. I love google, and their Blogger stuff.
But I literally tried the "Next Blog" button on the top of the page 50 times.
I got (http://alpha-beta-tricks.blogspot.com/) 24 times, (http://www.indirelease.com/) 17 times, and 9 other sites in between. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL GOOGLE!?!?
I would very much like to scan through various blogs to see what's out there, and instead I get stuck in stupid loops of the same 2-3 blogs going on over and over. I even went to other computers, tried starting the blog search from various bloggers' pages, and the same sites still repeat. It is VERY annoying. Especially when the 2 listed above don't have a "Next Blog" button on them.
This is a specific issue I have had many times, and it is really something that needs to be remedied.
Come on Google, this problem needs to be fixed, and I actually think out of all the bazillions of brilliant employees at your disposal, at least a handful could fix it with ease.
Also, the updated blog editor needs a spellchecker.
But I literally tried the "Next Blog" button on the top of the page 50 times.
I got (http://alpha-beta-tricks.blogspot.com/) 24 times, (http://www.indirelease.com/) 17 times, and 9 other sites in between. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL GOOGLE!?!?
I would very much like to scan through various blogs to see what's out there, and instead I get stuck in stupid loops of the same 2-3 blogs going on over and over. I even went to other computers, tried starting the blog search from various bloggers' pages, and the same sites still repeat. It is VERY annoying. Especially when the 2 listed above don't have a "Next Blog" button on them.
This is a specific issue I have had many times, and it is really something that needs to be remedied.
Come on Google, this problem needs to be fixed, and I actually think out of all the bazillions of brilliant employees at your disposal, at least a handful could fix it with ease.
Also, the updated blog editor needs a spellchecker.
9.28.2009
9.26.2009
Heroes:Season 4-Orientation/Jump, Push, Fall
The new season of Heroes has begun. It's not quite what I was hoping for.
I'll try and keep this shorter than all the other Heroes posts.
Angela Petrelli is still a manipulator. Quickly becoming a second, maybe even third rate one at that.
The carnival folk- A bunch of people with powers in a travelling carnival? Sounds an awful lot like HBO's series Carnivale. Which is an awesome series. Well, there seems to be the Leader Samuel who can move earth(telekinesis possibly) and control tattoos when placed in skin of both himself or others. Maybe it's a metals or minerals control? A girl that is a form of psychic, and is assisted with the tattoos to show others what she is seeing. There is also an old fellow that can send a person through time, no telling if he has the same abilities as Hiro. Hiro had the potential to send things/people away without needing to go as well, as shown when Arthur Petrelli took his power. And lastly, there's Darth Faux-hawk himself-Ray Parks. Big suprise, he uses kung fu type stuff. Oh, and super speed. They want to be family, and find others to adopt into the group. Specifically Hiro, Claire, Peter, and Sylar. They also want to retrieve a compass Danko has stashed in a lockbox in a bank. Danko has placed great importance on it, even though it was never previously mentioned. And it only appears to work when a powered individual touches it.
Hiro and Ando have started a call for a hero business, and their first client is saving a cat. Hiro is still having problems with his abilities, such as nose bleeds, and him becoming frozen in time while other things remain in motion. He ends up going back in time accidentally and changing the past to help Ando and Hiro's sister get together, with the aid/interference of Samuel, who was sent back by the old time manipulator from the carnival. For some reason a spilled blue slurpy will cause a budding love to fizzle. Stupid.
Hiro also lets Ando know he is dying, and wants to help as many people as possible before he goes.
And a neat side note, I think I spotted Hiro's armor from the past in one of the hallways in his office building.
Tracy is on a revenge kick, offing anyone related to the group that caused her harm. She goes after Bennett, and Danko saves him. Noah offers Danko a 'free pass' that he refuses. Tracy meets up with Noah, he then offers to help her, thinking he hasn't helped "a single on of you(superpeople)". Obviously he must have forgotten about the numerous times he helped Claire. And then that time he helped Ted and Matt get out of Primatech. Or all the other times he helped.
He has the Haitian wipe Danko's memories of Tracy. She arrives at Danko's place in time to see him not remember, then get sliced to hell by Edgar, the canrnival speedster. Who was looking for the magical compass.
Where the hell was the Haitian last season? On a damn vacatian? If Bennett could get ahold of him in that short amount of time, taking Sylar down should have been no problem. Stupid Heroes writers.
Claire is now in college. She is rooming with a Too-Good-At-Everything girl that dominates everyone at a frat party in a grand moment of product placement. I am sick of Guitar Hero everywhere. If you want to play in a band, learn a real instrument. It takes a little longer, but it sound better. Miss I-Can't-Die also meets a dark haired girl that not only recognizes her as the survivor of a murder case, but may secretly be obsessed with Claire's living through it.
Goody-good commits suicide and the other girl gets Claire to investigate the possibility of it being a murder with her. They talk about the Jump/Push/Fall hypothesis. Each scenario would have a distinct distance away from the building. Dark hair wants to borrow a corpse from a morgue and Claire just does it herself when she thinks nobody is around. Yeah, fat chance. Dark hair sees it. Another shocker there, and Claire realizes it was a suicide. Lame.
Nathan/Sylar/Nath-lar/Sy-than is having issues with himself. Angela is an F-ing idiot. She worked for the Company. The company tried wiping Adam/Kensei's mind. He got better, why would it work on Sylar? He will heal and be himself again. Unless he WANTS to be Nathan. He can certainly do a hell of a lot more with the kind of political weight Nathan can throw around. I still think things are heading to a very similar future to the 5 years gone.
On the mental planes, Parkman is being perpetually harassed by the ghost of Sylar past after he vowed to stop using his powers. Is this sort of like Usutu hanging around in his brainpan??? Like Parkman's versions of a shoulder angel and shoulder devil! (I can hear the tiny versions of them talking to Matt-"Do this!" "No, do that!"...and so on.) Couldn't he use his ability on himself to rid this pest? Or is it his undermind attempting to push him until he begins using his powers again? I think that might be it, because not using the abilities would be akin to walking around with one of your main senses being cut off. How long can you continue to ignore the urge to use the gift given?
Peter is back to his old broody, lame self. Sure, I work for a hospital myself. I understand the drive to help as many people as possible. But only so many can be saved. He claims he is trying to do some good to counteract all the bad "they've" done. His family and the company. Did he and Nathan blow up New York? No. Score 1 good guys. Did Peter stop a super virus from decimating the populus? Yes. Score 2. points. He also caught Sylar from becoming President Worf. That's 3.
Whatever, he thinks he needs to be faster to save more lives. It leads coworkers to believe he is setting up accidents to become a hero. So he ends up helping Bennett to go get the magic compass just so he can get Edgar's speed. It goes well and they get the compass, Peter gets a new ability, and everything is hunky dory. Until Edgar stabs Bennett later and gets the compass. Peter helps Bennett, and goes on to help others. Then Bennett sort of has a not-date with Tracy in the hospital.
Here is another a ridiculous issue. Why the hell would Peter not have taken Sylar's power in the last season? That would enable him to begin collecting other abilities as well(without killing them-essentially returning his old power, we already know Sylar can take powers that way). He has already had it and can push the "hunger" away. Besides Peter began a wall like a Bizarro version of Sylar's season 1 wall. A collection of saved lives. It would really make sense for him to take the ability to right as much as he can. Very interesting developement and it could have major story potential. Come to think of it, if he wants speed, why doesn't he just get in touch with Hiro. Then he'll have as much time as he needs. Literally infinite time. If there's a mistake, oh, just go back a little and fix it.
I would also like to know how long will Peter avoid Nathan? He wasn't in the room when Angela, Noah, and Matt did the work on Sylar, so does he know? If not, all he has to do is touch him to absorb an ability that isn't flight to realize what happened.
Hopefully the writer's will get better as I am expecting more of this show.
I'll try and keep this shorter than all the other Heroes posts.
Angela Petrelli is still a manipulator. Quickly becoming a second, maybe even third rate one at that.
The carnival folk- A bunch of people with powers in a travelling carnival? Sounds an awful lot like HBO's series Carnivale. Which is an awesome series. Well, there seems to be the Leader Samuel who can move earth(telekinesis possibly) and control tattoos when placed in skin of both himself or others. Maybe it's a metals or minerals control? A girl that is a form of psychic, and is assisted with the tattoos to show others what she is seeing. There is also an old fellow that can send a person through time, no telling if he has the same abilities as Hiro. Hiro had the potential to send things/people away without needing to go as well, as shown when Arthur Petrelli took his power. And lastly, there's Darth Faux-hawk himself-Ray Parks. Big suprise, he uses kung fu type stuff. Oh, and super speed. They want to be family, and find others to adopt into the group. Specifically Hiro, Claire, Peter, and Sylar. They also want to retrieve a compass Danko has stashed in a lockbox in a bank. Danko has placed great importance on it, even though it was never previously mentioned. And it only appears to work when a powered individual touches it.
Hiro and Ando have started a call for a hero business, and their first client is saving a cat. Hiro is still having problems with his abilities, such as nose bleeds, and him becoming frozen in time while other things remain in motion. He ends up going back in time accidentally and changing the past to help Ando and Hiro's sister get together, with the aid/interference of Samuel, who was sent back by the old time manipulator from the carnival. For some reason a spilled blue slurpy will cause a budding love to fizzle. Stupid.
Hiro also lets Ando know he is dying, and wants to help as many people as possible before he goes.
And a neat side note, I think I spotted Hiro's armor from the past in one of the hallways in his office building.
Tracy is on a revenge kick, offing anyone related to the group that caused her harm. She goes after Bennett, and Danko saves him. Noah offers Danko a 'free pass' that he refuses. Tracy meets up with Noah, he then offers to help her, thinking he hasn't helped "a single on of you(superpeople)". Obviously he must have forgotten about the numerous times he helped Claire. And then that time he helped Ted and Matt get out of Primatech. Or all the other times he helped.
He has the Haitian wipe Danko's memories of Tracy. She arrives at Danko's place in time to see him not remember, then get sliced to hell by Edgar, the canrnival speedster. Who was looking for the magical compass.
Where the hell was the Haitian last season? On a damn vacatian? If Bennett could get ahold of him in that short amount of time, taking Sylar down should have been no problem. Stupid Heroes writers.
Claire is now in college. She is rooming with a Too-Good-At-Everything girl that dominates everyone at a frat party in a grand moment of product placement. I am sick of Guitar Hero everywhere. If you want to play in a band, learn a real instrument. It takes a little longer, but it sound better. Miss I-Can't-Die also meets a dark haired girl that not only recognizes her as the survivor of a murder case, but may secretly be obsessed with Claire's living through it.
Goody-good commits suicide and the other girl gets Claire to investigate the possibility of it being a murder with her. They talk about the Jump/Push/Fall hypothesis. Each scenario would have a distinct distance away from the building. Dark hair wants to borrow a corpse from a morgue and Claire just does it herself when she thinks nobody is around. Yeah, fat chance. Dark hair sees it. Another shocker there, and Claire realizes it was a suicide. Lame.
Nathan/Sylar/Nath-lar/Sy-than is having issues with himself. Angela is an F-ing idiot. She worked for the Company. The company tried wiping Adam/Kensei's mind. He got better, why would it work on Sylar? He will heal and be himself again. Unless he WANTS to be Nathan. He can certainly do a hell of a lot more with the kind of political weight Nathan can throw around. I still think things are heading to a very similar future to the 5 years gone.
On the mental planes, Parkman is being perpetually harassed by the ghost of Sylar past after he vowed to stop using his powers. Is this sort of like Usutu hanging around in his brainpan??? Like Parkman's versions of a shoulder angel and shoulder devil! (I can hear the tiny versions of them talking to Matt-"Do this!" "No, do that!"...and so on.) Couldn't he use his ability on himself to rid this pest? Or is it his undermind attempting to push him until he begins using his powers again? I think that might be it, because not using the abilities would be akin to walking around with one of your main senses being cut off. How long can you continue to ignore the urge to use the gift given?
Peter is back to his old broody, lame self. Sure, I work for a hospital myself. I understand the drive to help as many people as possible. But only so many can be saved. He claims he is trying to do some good to counteract all the bad "they've" done. His family and the company. Did he and Nathan blow up New York? No. Score 1 good guys. Did Peter stop a super virus from decimating the populus? Yes. Score 2. points. He also caught Sylar from becoming President Worf. That's 3.
Whatever, he thinks he needs to be faster to save more lives. It leads coworkers to believe he is setting up accidents to become a hero. So he ends up helping Bennett to go get the magic compass just so he can get Edgar's speed. It goes well and they get the compass, Peter gets a new ability, and everything is hunky dory. Until Edgar stabs Bennett later and gets the compass. Peter helps Bennett, and goes on to help others. Then Bennett sort of has a not-date with Tracy in the hospital.
Here is another a ridiculous issue. Why the hell would Peter not have taken Sylar's power in the last season? That would enable him to begin collecting other abilities as well(without killing them-essentially returning his old power, we already know Sylar can take powers that way). He has already had it and can push the "hunger" away. Besides Peter began a wall like a Bizarro version of Sylar's season 1 wall. A collection of saved lives. It would really make sense for him to take the ability to right as much as he can. Very interesting developement and it could have major story potential. Come to think of it, if he wants speed, why doesn't he just get in touch with Hiro. Then he'll have as much time as he needs. Literally infinite time. If there's a mistake, oh, just go back a little and fix it.
I would also like to know how long will Peter avoid Nathan? He wasn't in the room when Angela, Noah, and Matt did the work on Sylar, so does he know? If not, all he has to do is touch him to absorb an ability that isn't flight to realize what happened.
Hopefully the writer's will get better as I am expecting more of this show.
9.25.2009
The Potato Fairy/Spud Gnome Strikes Again!
Not once, but TWICE, I have visited by this kindly gift giving entity.
What an odd occurance.
Very odd indeed.
The little creeper has returned to bestow a whole batch of gifts upon my vehicle.
OK, that's a little harsh, they aren't a creeper, just a little sneaky. I did receive a small amount of delicious treats. So I am greatful of their generosity.
Now that I think about it, I believe the Potato Fairy may actually be a Spud Gnome. Could a tiny woodland sprite heft the weight of a sack of taters? Probably not. Gnomes are very hardy little buggers and could easily carry large amounts of vegetable goodness. Perhaps it was a being of close relation to the Garden Gnome, a creature that works the soil, one that lives to help plants grow. Some kind of ground dweller helping out the growth of the land and distributing some of the spoils to those that care. Either that, or it was a small squadron of Potato Fairies, each hauling a single spud through the air to the intended destination- my car.
Nah! I think it's gotta be a gnome.
What an odd occurance.
Very odd indeed.
The little creeper has returned to bestow a whole batch of gifts upon my vehicle.
OK, that's a little harsh, they aren't a creeper, just a little sneaky. I did receive a small amount of delicious treats. So I am greatful of their generosity.
Now that I think about it, I believe the Potato Fairy may actually be a Spud Gnome. Could a tiny woodland sprite heft the weight of a sack of taters? Probably not. Gnomes are very hardy little buggers and could easily carry large amounts of vegetable goodness. Perhaps it was a being of close relation to the Garden Gnome, a creature that works the soil, one that lives to help plants grow. Some kind of ground dweller helping out the growth of the land and distributing some of the spoils to those that care. Either that, or it was a small squadron of Potato Fairies, each hauling a single spud through the air to the intended destination- my car.
Nah! I think it's gotta be a gnome.
Another Old Project.
This is an old acrylic painting I made in 2000-2001. It's Samson of biblical lore, and I cropped the image down, shaving off the sides. I just didn't like it as a whole, and could do FAR better now.
9.24.2009
Batman: Arkham Asylum
WARNING! There is a spoiler I marked for people that want to play the game.
The story of the game is essentially Batman brings the Joker to Arkham Asylum, Gotham City's penitentury/mental institution, to place him into custody. During the transfer into the facilities the Joker manages to escape and becomes the captor of everyone inside. Batman is trapped with all the inmates, including both the fun loony-goon nobodies and a handful of major baddies from Batman's main rogues gallery that the Joker has released from their holding cells. It's now your(Batman's) job to bring order out of the chaos Joker has unleashed.
The main quest is a series of things the Joker wants you to accomplish, and the substories/trials is comprised of tons (literally a couple hundred) of the Riddler's challenges.
The atmosphere and scenery of this game is very gothic, reminiscent of eerie old horror stories. Arkham Asylum itself, the land and achitecture, should be considered a character, and it's dark history is narrated by the voice of Arkham's founder, Amadeus Arkham. These wonderful bits are found carved on stone tablets hidden throughout the island, lending to an immersion into a very dark place indeed. The difference in areas is quite amazing. From crumbling old subterranean tunnels to the lush vegetation in the botony building. Each area of the compound is unique. You may find yourself wandering around just to look at things left lying around.
I love the fact that while a majority of the villains from the comics and cartoons are absent, there are references strewn throughout the game of most the denizens that once inhabited these halls. A few I notable ones were Vote Dent posters, Catwoman's claws in a display case, and my personal favorite Batman villain, Mr. Freeze's frosted over containment cell.
I am roughly 75% done with the game, and it flows quite well.
So, far the first boss encounter has been the best. It deserves an award for how well it was written. *SPOILER ALERT*. It starts with a dead Jim Gordon in a hallway, and Batman telling Oracle he will get the man who did it. You end up going into the Arkham morgue with a bunch of doors left open, and overlapping ghostly voices telling you that you shouldn't be there.
So heading back through the only door in the room, you end up in the same place you just walked out of. This time there are 3 bodybags squirming on tables and freezer doors flapping openg and closed. Upon opening them you discover that two are Batmans mother and father. The third is the Scarecrow. A flash and You find yourself in an Arkham hallway. Things are definitely not right in this hallway. Papers start blowing by. Trashcans begin appearing. Rain begins coming down.
The hallway is slowly transforming into an alleyway. Specifically the alley that Bruce Wayne watched his parents die in as you come upon that memory. There is another shift, and you are now that young Bruce Wayne reliving the scene. A little farther on you go leave the dead parents and enter a door.
Once through everything goes crazy. You find yourself in a strange mental landscape. A massive Scarecrow is surrounded by floating chunks of buildings in this odd realm. He is searching for you with searchlight eyes and where his gaze is are beams of searing light burning the area. If you are seen you die. You have to sneak around and find a way out of this insane land.
*SPOILER END*
This is the type of Batman game someone should have made years ago.
It's not always about just running bat-guns ablazin' into a room bataranging anything that moves. There are plenty of times you HAVE to take your time and think of ways to catch and knock out guards without alerting everyone else. There is a need for a level of stealth and trickery. So this isn't just an action game as it adds enough strategy to not put off casual gamers like myself.
It's dark, broody, and 100% about being a detective. A great story with entertaining commentary throughout by the Joker making fun of you and many of his low level henchman over the Arkham loudspeakers.
You finally get to feel like you ARE Batman. Sneaking around in the shadows, using crazy gadgets, striking fear into the hearts of crazies, and punching them in the face while they are peeing their pants.
The story of the game is essentially Batman brings the Joker to Arkham Asylum, Gotham City's penitentury/mental institution, to place him into custody. During the transfer into the facilities the Joker manages to escape and becomes the captor of everyone inside. Batman is trapped with all the inmates, including both the fun loony-goon nobodies and a handful of major baddies from Batman's main rogues gallery that the Joker has released from their holding cells. It's now your(Batman's) job to bring order out of the chaos Joker has unleashed.
The main quest is a series of things the Joker wants you to accomplish, and the substories/trials is comprised of tons (literally a couple hundred) of the Riddler's challenges.
The atmosphere and scenery of this game is very gothic, reminiscent of eerie old horror stories. Arkham Asylum itself, the land and achitecture, should be considered a character, and it's dark history is narrated by the voice of Arkham's founder, Amadeus Arkham. These wonderful bits are found carved on stone tablets hidden throughout the island, lending to an immersion into a very dark place indeed. The difference in areas is quite amazing. From crumbling old subterranean tunnels to the lush vegetation in the botony building. Each area of the compound is unique. You may find yourself wandering around just to look at things left lying around.
I love the fact that while a majority of the villains from the comics and cartoons are absent, there are references strewn throughout the game of most the denizens that once inhabited these halls. A few I notable ones were Vote Dent posters, Catwoman's claws in a display case, and my personal favorite Batman villain, Mr. Freeze's frosted over containment cell.
I am roughly 75% done with the game, and it flows quite well.
So, far the first boss encounter has been the best. It deserves an award for how well it was written. *SPOILER ALERT*. It starts with a dead Jim Gordon in a hallway, and Batman telling Oracle he will get the man who did it. You end up going into the Arkham morgue with a bunch of doors left open, and overlapping ghostly voices telling you that you shouldn't be there.
So heading back through the only door in the room, you end up in the same place you just walked out of. This time there are 3 bodybags squirming on tables and freezer doors flapping openg and closed. Upon opening them you discover that two are Batmans mother and father. The third is the Scarecrow. A flash and You find yourself in an Arkham hallway. Things are definitely not right in this hallway. Papers start blowing by. Trashcans begin appearing. Rain begins coming down.
The hallway is slowly transforming into an alleyway. Specifically the alley that Bruce Wayne watched his parents die in as you come upon that memory. There is another shift, and you are now that young Bruce Wayne reliving the scene. A little farther on you go leave the dead parents and enter a door.
Once through everything goes crazy. You find yourself in a strange mental landscape. A massive Scarecrow is surrounded by floating chunks of buildings in this odd realm. He is searching for you with searchlight eyes and where his gaze is are beams of searing light burning the area. If you are seen you die. You have to sneak around and find a way out of this insane land.
*SPOILER END*
This is the type of Batman game someone should have made years ago.
It's not always about just running bat-guns ablazin' into a room bataranging anything that moves. There are plenty of times you HAVE to take your time and think of ways to catch and knock out guards without alerting everyone else. There is a need for a level of stealth and trickery. So this isn't just an action game as it adds enough strategy to not put off casual gamers like myself.
It's dark, broody, and 100% about being a detective. A great story with entertaining commentary throughout by the Joker making fun of you and many of his low level henchman over the Arkham loudspeakers.
You finally get to feel like you ARE Batman. Sneaking around in the shadows, using crazy gadgets, striking fear into the hearts of crazies, and punching them in the face while they are peeing their pants.
9.23.2009
9.22.2009
An Illustration
Here's another old illustration. It's the internal of a door's locking mechanism. I like pulling things apart to see the inner workings. Mechanical devices, not electronics. Electronics are much less interesting visually.
9.21.2009
X-men Origins: Wolverine
...uhhhh...
Seriously!?
How could Marvel Comics or Fox allow this ABOMINATION of a film to be made?
This movie should've been called Weapon F. For Weapon Fail.
Just to warn people in advance, this is a long rant post. Lot's of information jumping all over the place.
Now my friends can attest, I'm generally a very forgiving person when it comes to judging films. There are many films I really like that are very terrible, and I will fully acknowledge that ahead of time. I didn't get to see it in the theater, and all my buddies told me I would've been pissed. They were putting it nicely, and immensely understated. I rented this at the Redbox for $1.07, and feel I have overpaid by at least $5. I hope my rental money goes to destroying this copy.
Now I should tell you I have a particular love of the Weapon X story. Specifically because one of the two comics that got me positively addicted to comics as a kid was Marvel Comics Presents issue 77. It was part 5 of Barry Windsor Smith's positively unbelievable Weapon X story, which I picked up at the Food-N-Fuel gas station in like 1990-91. I read this single issue with almost religious love. It wasn't like all the other lame comics on the shelf. No Mickey or Donald.(Although the current stuff with Disney...) No Superman. No "kiddie" stuff. This was full on blood and gore. Dark and realistic violence, and almost a psychological horror. This is the type of action I grew up on with movies like Aliens and Predator. The quality I craved. Even at the young age of 11. (On a Side note, the other comic that heavily influenced me, that I've also read about a bazillion times, was Uncanny X-men 276. Which led to my love of Gambit, all style and charm in action.)
This particular movie deserves a harsher judgement than I give to other movies. Marvel and Fox can afford both the money and the time to develop a movie that can compete with something like The Dark Knight. With The Dark Knight setting a standard for what a "comic book movie" can and should be, the amazing potential they can have. Did Marvel/Fox learn nothing???
I mean, COME ON MARVEL/FOX! They went from X-men(maybe a B), to X-men 2(A-ish), to the piece-o-crap X-men:United(I'd give it a C). They somehow engineered a movie even worse.
Remember Spider-Man 3? Should I even remind people of the horrendous Fantastic Four movies. (They did have some things I enjoyed- The silver Surfer was handled well. Galactus on the other hand? One of the best Marvel villains ever. Not even handled close to OK.)
Ok- About the movie. I did really like the credits sequence. Dirty and grungy. Marvel could've added that to the entire film and it may have enhanced the viewing experience a little. I also liked Gambit's scenes very much. The best scenes are his most definitely. For a majority of the film, the CG work is just dreadful. B movie quality. Quite sad actually.
I am struggling to find a magic bullet to make me forget this movie. Time may help wipe it from my mind.
I heard there may be another movie. I can only hope they learn from this unholy mess and make a better film. Marvel and Fox need to take lessons from The Dark Knight. The fanboys want a true to comics movie, that also caters to the non-comic-reading public or average movie goer. Something that isn't just a stream of ridiculous action. Something with serious potential.
I heard there was an alternative end credits scene with Logan in a Japanese bar. They may need to look to the Frank Miller series where he fights with Lord Shingen. A great sword duel that ends with an "Oh My God!" moment. It could be a redeeming thing for Marvel movies. I think 300 and Sin City are decent proof Miller makes a good story.
I'm waiting Marvel.
Complaints and crap on characters:
Wolverine/Logan/James/Pansy. Whatever name he goes by, he is definitely not a man. Oh noes! I'm not an animal, whah!!! Grow up you freakin cry-baby. You have lived a long time, participated in multiple wars, lost a bunch of friends and are acting like a damned emo teenager. Hugh Jackman was awesome in The Prestige(A) and even better in The Fountain(A+), so I can't blame him for this crappy ass movie.
Wolverine should have earned his name, not picked it from a story his love told him way back when. The whole of the Weapon X procedure he had flashbacks from in the other movies totalled what, like 5 minutes? Where was all this torturous training? Where was the captivity? The being tested and pushed into a state of animal-like living? Fighting for survival in a compound, striving against nature? Where was the fight with a million soldiers while trying to break out?
He was too clean. Logan shouldn't be so pretty, with nice lustrous hair? He should be animalistic. Rough and savage. It would help show his "struggle" with being a man. There needed to be more struggle with nature of both internal and external on the trek back to humanity. A hugely symbolic trip. Where was it? Oh, right! They weren't anywhere. So he was having terrifying flashbacks from a 10 minute process that hurt a lot. He's a regenerating person, I'm sure it was fine, he's probably felt much worse. How many bullets and knives has he been wounded by? Lord knows what else he might have accidentally been hurt by? Falling from WAY up high? Grenade to the face, landmine in the crotch, whatever.
There is also the amazing issue of the damn "magic" adamantium bullets. HELLO! Does adamantium heal? Why did the scans by Professor X not show the bullet holes in X-men 1? Or when he smashed his head open all the other times? Did they even come out the back of his head, or bounce around inside his metal skull scrambling all that gray matter? So, he can heal and remember all the rudimentary functions, and plenty of parts of memories, but not any specifics? Well, I guess it was only like a 5 to 10 minute procedure. So small, it would be easy to get eradicated by a magic bullet.
...and they wasted the "I'm the best there is at what I do" line. He was all nonchalant saying it. He was like, "Eh, yeah, I'm the best and stuff, and it's not very nice... Bub." Then after a short pause he shrugs and says, "Meh."
The Blob, well played, decent make-up, and good accent. Why didn't they just leave him a fat guy. Not a super tough guy with an eating disorder.
Agent Zero? In the comics he is also called Maverick. And can see slightly into the future. Not just a guy that can shoot guns really well.
Silver Fox. Sure she's hot, and acted well, but why turn her into this ridiculous person. If Sabretooth was immune to her suggestion power because of his healing, why wasn't Wolverine? (There was an implied part with Stryker shaking his head at her revealing her true feelings)
And when she "died" the first time, did he just leave her body there in the woods to be found by his coworkers? No funeral? WTF? What kind of husband screams into the air at their spouses demise, and just leaves.
Sabretooth is quite well done. I absolutely love Liev Schreiber. He's great in The Ten. He was a vicious bastard. Having the smug attitude of a borderline immortal, he was quite nicely portrayed as such. If Stryker "needed" Logan's power so bad why didn't they just take the SAME ONE from Sabretooth???
Wraithe- Terrible in the fight scenes. Nightcrawler was handled well, they screwed this potential up bad. He's a teleporter. He would hit-and-port to out of reach. Especially if you knew the enemy, and was familiar with their dangerousness.
Stryker. Definitely a massive step down from Bryan Cox. Not a believable enough douschebag.
Deadpool was cast perfectly. Even though Mr. Reynolds played Hannibal in Blade Trinity, thus being 2 characters in the same universe. His schtick is witty quips, and being a general embarrassment. I believe they made a huge mistake in sewing his mouth shut. Couldn't he just cut it open, with the healing ability to take care of the rest? And apparently swinging swords in a figure eight constantly in front of you will deflect bullets coming from all directions, even from the back.
After the procedure he became a computer driven idiot. He didn't even display the electronic manipulator guy's power, so why did they take it? Why the hell did Wolverine decide to fight him on the top of the tower anyway? After his head got chopped of and fell, it sure as heck wouldn't fall in a nice spiral pattern. After the credits his body reaches for his head, and gives the "shhhh..." here's a secret thing.
I can't believe I'm still writing this. It makes me very unhappy. Too much energy wasted on this giant steamy pile of crap.
I thoroughly liked Gambit. (from my love of comics mentioned above-he was the reason I loved Uncanny X-men 276) With the exception of him doing a slow motion cartwheel from fire escape to fire escape, he had the best scenes. Love the card tricks and the subtle glows when he uses his powers. Great charm and charisma. A character Marvel needs to use to good measure in future films.
Although a couple more issues come up with the film in his scenes. And my least favorite part. How the hell did Gambit get from laying on the street after taking an adamantium elbow to the face, to running towards the fight on the top of the roof?
And: the absolutely ludicrous scene where Wolverine is chopping chunks off the fire escape off like an old cartoon to get Gambit down. Once again, WTF?
Side notes: I liked Cyclops. But, Emma Frost? Outrageous. The Storm scene from the trailer? Nowhere to be found.
I also noticed what looked to be a slew off cameos in the island captivity cells. I believe I caught Toad licking his lips and Quicksilver strung up so he can't move. I forgot the other ones I may have seen, as this was days ago.
9.17.2009
A Creepy Baby Head and an Iron Koala???
I hope Hagelrat enjoys the first one. I took it some time in 1996-97. I believe it is a ceramic baby head my friend's mom sculpted. I cannot be 100% positive that she did or not, but whatever.
The second is from the top of a paper towel dispenser. I was drying my hands in a bathroom at work and on the top of the dispenser was a scratched up keyhole that looked very much to me like an upside down metal koala. So I nabbed my camera phone and snapped a pic. I still giggle every time I use that restroom. I imagine it to be a robotic restroom attendant and I tip it with eucalyptus leaves.
Yes, of course I carry around imaginary eucalyptus leaves in my scrub pockets at work. I keep it next to all my imaginary money.
The second is from the top of a paper towel dispenser. I was drying my hands in a bathroom at work and on the top of the dispenser was a scratched up keyhole that looked very much to me like an upside down metal koala. So I nabbed my camera phone and snapped a pic. I still giggle every time I use that restroom. I imagine it to be a robotic restroom attendant and I tip it with eucalyptus leaves.
Yes, of course I carry around imaginary eucalyptus leaves in my scrub pockets at work. I keep it next to all my imaginary money.
9.16.2009
9.15.2009
FOODPOCALYPSE!!!
Punch Pizza?
Smashburger?
By the names alone one would assume that the war on hunger is being taken way too seriously.
These names imply the wholesale obliteration of any hunger you may have had before eating. You may think that devouring these foods results in an assault against your taste buds, fully-loaded with an arsenal of atomic flavor, and followed shortly after by the complete and utter destruction to your innards.
You would be half right.
Both places deliver quite a smack in the mouth and a wallup to your stomach. In a good way.
So no need to worry. You may partake of the great tastes without fear of angry food demons focused on marching their tiny army through your viscera, tramping through soft inner tissues, and laying waste to the your digestive tract. All this intended damage is towards hunger, not your person.
Be forewarned though, after eating these tasty treats you may need a 3 hour nap to recover.
Anyways...
Punch is a Neapolitan pizza place(whatever that means) and use wood-burning, brick ovens.
Here's the link: http://www.punchpizza.com/
Smashburger makes 1/3 to 1/2 lb. burgers, hotdogs, and salads.
Here's the link: http://www.smashburger.com/
Try them if you ever get the chance. I'm not much of a burger person, but Smash is DAMN good.
Pizza is almost a dietary staple of mine, and Punch has displaced my former #1 placeholder Pizza Man.
These are GREAT EATS even if the names evoke a feeling of possible future bodily harm.
"The 8th seal was broken.
A great nectar was poured into the mouth of man,
Heavenly delicacies were placed upon the tongue.
Without fear of digestive wrath,
No devilish havoc at work in thy bellies,
And there was much rejoicing."
-Joshua's Foodpocalypse 6:17-19.
Smashburger?
By the names alone one would assume that the war on hunger is being taken way too seriously.
These names imply the wholesale obliteration of any hunger you may have had before eating. You may think that devouring these foods results in an assault against your taste buds, fully-loaded with an arsenal of atomic flavor, and followed shortly after by the complete and utter destruction to your innards.
You would be half right.
Both places deliver quite a smack in the mouth and a wallup to your stomach. In a good way.
So no need to worry. You may partake of the great tastes without fear of angry food demons focused on marching their tiny army through your viscera, tramping through soft inner tissues, and laying waste to the your digestive tract. All this intended damage is towards hunger, not your person.
Be forewarned though, after eating these tasty treats you may need a 3 hour nap to recover.
Anyways...
Punch is a Neapolitan pizza place(whatever that means) and use wood-burning, brick ovens.
Here's the link: http://www.punchpizza.com/
Smashburger makes 1/3 to 1/2 lb. burgers, hotdogs, and salads.
Here's the link: http://www.smashburger.com/
Try them if you ever get the chance. I'm not much of a burger person, but Smash is DAMN good.
Pizza is almost a dietary staple of mine, and Punch has displaced my former #1 placeholder Pizza Man.
These are GREAT EATS even if the names evoke a feeling of possible future bodily harm.
"The 8th seal was broken.
A great nectar was poured into the mouth of man,
Heavenly delicacies were placed upon the tongue.
Without fear of digestive wrath,
No devilish havoc at work in thy bellies,
And there was much rejoicing."
-Joshua's Foodpocalypse 6:17-19.
9.12.2009
9.11.2009
Moofair!
Here is a really old picture I made in 2000 about the Minnesota State Fair.
It's essentially two cows wandering around the fair after their work shifts ended, enjoying a corndog and some coffee, and talking about that horrible poop smell that is everywhere, and one of them mentions what the smell is. It's people.
It's essentially two cows wandering around the fair after their work shifts ended, enjoying a corndog and some coffee, and talking about that horrible poop smell that is everywhere, and one of them mentions what the smell is. It's people.
9.10.2009
The Oldest Photoshop File I Could Find...
This is from when I was in high school. WAAAAYYYYYY back then.
I know it's lame, but I was just begining to use photoshop and was just dinking around.
A coworker just pointed out that file is actually ancient in terms of their youth. Those young bastards! I'm not even 30 yet! I made this before they were 12, it was half my lifetime ago dammit!
I know it's lame, but I was just begining to use photoshop and was just dinking around.
A coworker just pointed out that file is actually ancient in terms of their youth. Those young bastards! I'm not even 30 yet! I made this before they were 12, it was half my lifetime ago dammit!
9.09.2009
A Spork and a Glass Head
Here are two more random things I dug out of an old Zip Disk:
The first is a small portion of a 3d Max picture I made in 2000-2001 or so. It was the only part of the image I liked- so I cropped everything else, which amounted to roughly 90 percent of the total picture. It was an ad I made up about a horrible breakfast cereal i made up, involving the ingesting of mass quantities of something along the lines of "214% of your Daily Vitamin Sugar Intake!", and now has "More Fiber Than a Handful of Gravel!!!" It was pretty much an amazing idea that didn't look quite how I wanted it to, so I kept the part I liked and scrapped the crap.
The second is a photo of a glass head one of my friends had in his basement. I set it up and snapped a shot. This picture is from, I believe, 1997. It turned out all right.
The first is a small portion of a 3d Max picture I made in 2000-2001 or so. It was the only part of the image I liked- so I cropped everything else, which amounted to roughly 90 percent of the total picture. It was an ad I made up about a horrible breakfast cereal i made up, involving the ingesting of mass quantities of something along the lines of "214% of your Daily Vitamin Sugar Intake!", and now has "More Fiber Than a Handful of Gravel!!!" It was pretty much an amazing idea that didn't look quite how I wanted it to, so I kept the part I liked and scrapped the crap.
The second is a photo of a glass head one of my friends had in his basement. I set it up and snapped a shot. This picture is from, I believe, 1997. It turned out all right.
9.07.2009
Some Old Photos
I have been out of the loop for a while, and home computer-less, so I decided to search through some old files on disk at work on my breaks. So I have no new art, I cannot scan stuff, and have no way of digitally producing anything new, but... ...I found some old Photos I took with a crappy Sprint phone years ago.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)