Street Fighter V: Thoughts on Why R. Mika's Butt Slap was Removed

     After about a month of fan speculation as to the reason Capcom removed R. Mika's trademark booty smacking taunt animation from Street Fighter V, we get producer Yoshinori Ono's thoughts.

     Ono claims the change was not due to external pressure, leading people to think it is not censorship, but rather, going on to explain:

"These changes have arisen internally. We decided to remove it because we want as many people to play, and we do not want the game something that might make someone uncomfortable."

     Coming from my own perspective as a long-time Street Fighter player this is absolutely ridiculous.  Rainbow Mika's butt is still in full view throughout matches, and whether she slaps it or not as a taunt, it's a move that is completely and without a doubt within her character's personality.  It makes sense, if Cammy or Chun Li were to do it, it would be outrageous, but not for Mika's silliness.  This is taunt is from a move where she literally sits on someone's face.  Her tag-team wrestling partner, Yamato Nadeshiko, and Mika fly ass first at their opponent smashing their face between their cheeks and then into the ground.  I would also like to note that Mika's partner, Yamato's name is derived from a Japanese phrase for the idealized perfect woman.  Regardless, this hilarious move is part of her wrestling style and flare.
     And for those that would find this one peculiar move "uncomfortable," you might want to reconsider the rest of the entire game.  The game is about beating the ever-loving crap out of people.  If beating someone up makes you less uncomfortable than seeing someone slap their own ass, that's on you.
     Even if you were to find that one small thing uncomfortable, would that mean you wouldn't play the game at all?  Probably not.  So those that would be uncomfortable to begin with most likely are not even playing the game any ways.  This feels more like they're trying to prevent the current outrage culture in video games from having something to latch on to and complain about.  I mean they've already altered Cammy's entrance shot to something more appropriate, but they've not yet addressed all the funny boob jiggling.  It just seems like it was a decision that while not censorship, may have been done for fear of incurring some that would cry foul.

     Sources [ UOL Jugos ] via [ [ Destructoid ]

Rise of the Tomb Raider: RUMOR NEWS- A One Year Wait for PS4: Due HOLIDAY 2016?!?

     In an awful announcement for Playstation users, Microsoft's timed-exclusivity deal creates a huge delay in release dates between systems for the upcoming Square-Enix game Rise of the Tomb Raider.  The newest rumor claims there is a monstrous one year wait.  PC players won't have it quite as bad, their's will be available merely a few months after the Xbox One's release- placing it somewhere in "early 2016" with the stipulation that they need to have Windows 10 to play it.

A Bleak Release Date Outlook.

     I've never been keen on the timed-exclusivity deals, but this one is absolutely ridiculous.  A whole year, that could be very bad news for Square-Enix if Playstation users take offense at this absurdity.  This type of thing creates a lot of distaste for the waiting game and generates buyer backlash and disinterest for not being able to obtain a copy for your preferred system.

     If the rumor is true, it definitely feels like a swift kick to my consumer nuts.  I honestly don't think my fandom is willing to wait that long to support a franchise I've enjoyed since it's inception.

     Source [ Shack News ] [ Lazy Gamer ]

JJ Abrams and a Star Wars / Star Trek Crossover Film....

     I read earlier today that inside sources with J.J. Abrams' studio that Abrams is attempting to put the two biggest science fiction franchises together on the big screen.  It sounds plausible, I mean he's already sitting in the directors seat for one, and has previously held it for the other.  On top of that he's already snuck R2-D2 into the newer Star Trek films.

     Here's a snippet from the National Report article I read:

     Sources claim that Abrams, who is currently in production on Star Wars, Episode 7, The Force Awakens, has spent the past three weeks jotting down notes and drawing out stick figure storyboards for a film he’s tentatively titling “A New Frontier,” and has recently begun fleshing out the first few scenes of a screenplay. This film, which is little more than theoretical right now, would see the crew of the USS Enterprise crashing on Tatooine, the desert planet that both Anakin and Luke Skywalker had called their home.

     “The idea is that the enterprise crew are trying to outrun some trouble, and end up going through a wormhole. And that lands them in a different time and place… a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away,” says a talent agency employee who claims he overheard Abrams in a meeting with his agent. “So you’d have the Star Trek characters meeting some of the Star Wars characters, and there’d be a whole adventure happening there, while the Enterprise crew tries to repair their ship and get home.” 

     Another employee from the same agency corroborated the story. “He’s been really excited about this for a few days. He really wants to make this picture, where the Star Trek and Star Wars characters meet on Tatooine. Ari [Emanuel, Abrams’ Agent] has been putting in calls to execs at Disney and Paramount to see if they could get a meeting going.”

     Sure, it's a very intriguing idea, but something about it doesn't quite fit for me.  I cannot say that I would wholly be against the idea, but I can't say I'd be 100% for it either.  The two franchises have such a different feel, and as a life-long fan of both it does seem a little odd.
     I mean think about it, Star Wars is a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.  It's loaded with mystery and the Force, while Star Trek is all about the future and quantifying the universe, however strange it seems.  My issue with the mingling of these two distinct things would feel like a slight betrayal to both series' focus of ideals- like Lucas' quantifying of the Force by relegating it to a Midichlorian level- or Star Trek V: The Final Frontier's mangled handling of a god.  It created an awkward mess in both instances, not that they couldn't have been done, but they were done in a way that didn't fit with the rest of their respective series'.

     So, to me, this seems like it could be a massively disastrous decision.  Speaking for myself, I think it is very possible to do this project, the biggest problem is doing it right.  Abrams' Star Trek films are riddled with problems, and we have yet to see how well the next Star Wars film will do.  So if these rumors are true, please, for the fans of these beloved franchises, find the greatest writers possible to make it work properly.

     Source [ National Report ]

Harrison Ford Walks Away From Another Plane Crash!

"It appeared he was flying...               ...Solo."

     Proving once again that he is the ultimate rebel, and as badass as his iconic roles as Han Solo and Indianna Jones, the 72 year old Harrison Ford crashed a plane in front of the 8th green on Penmar Golf course, scoring might turn out to be an aeronautical bogie.
    Being a bit more serious, hopefully things turn out a all right for him.

     According to NBC News:

     "The actor, who was conscious and breathing when rescue crews reached him, was stabilized and taken to a hospital, where he was in fair to moderate condition, authorities said. Sources said he sustained cuts to his head. There was no word on other injuries or what caused the plane to crash about 2:20 p.m. (5:20 p.m. ET). It appeared he was flying solo." 

That is a definitely a plane in front of the 8th green at Penmar in Venice. Pilot allegedly walked away. Wow. pic.twitter.com/2OXYJOdBu1
— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) March 5, 2015

     Source [ NBC ]

Josh News: Fuck the Chikin Nugget

     Today's installment of Josh News is brought to you by a co-workers ingenious child.  They apparently REALLY hate chicken nuggets- particularly McDonald's Mc-nuggets.  The picture on the back shows where they ate.  It also shows what might be an apatosaurus or some similar creature.

     How can kids be so brilliant and hilarious?!?  I wish I could be even half as awesome as this.

Josh News: WTF?!? Edition.

     So I put up a post yesterday about the Nickelodeon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and this was a comment that was left on it.

     Seriously!?!?  This is ridiculous.  Sure, I support their ability to say it, but please not on something meant for TMNT fans or kids.  So in response I will be deleting it, as it is probably just spam.  My apologies "anonymous" but this isn't the place for that.

     I am about equality regardless of a person's gender, race, or even just a crappy personality.  Everyone deserves the same rights and respect.

Rise of the Tomb Raider: Xbox One Exclusive: Is Crystal Dynamics Making a Huge Mistake?

     There seems to be quite a rage over the poorly announced Crystal Dynamics decision to make the Tomb Raider reboot's sequel, Rise of the Tomb Raider, an Xbox One exclusive.

UUhhhhh...   This was a terrible idea.

     Obviously as both a Playstation user and a Tomb Raider fan this news is a huge disappointment.  What makes this news even worse is the fact that Square-Enix was complaining about the commercial "sales failure" of the reboot not meeting expectations.  Well I hope they cut down their estimations by two-thirds, because the PS4 is currently outselling the Xbox One 3 to 1 and they've now lost out on a huge market chunk.

     Sure it may be only temporary because it's listed "For Holiday 2015" so presumably they'll be released later for PS4 and PC, but we'll have to wait for an official statement in the mean time.  Head of Crystal Dynamics Darrell Gallagher says that they "aren't walking away from our fans that play on Playstation and PC" because those systems get a consolation prize- Lara Croft and the Temple of Osiris.  This isn't quite alienating their fanbase, but it is definitely shooting themselves in the foot and wondering why they're bleeding so bad.

     Really, according to their Tumblr post, it seems they think that by limiting the console release will somehow cement the Tomb Raider brand into our hearts.  What I want to know is who is getting money out of this.  Seriously- this seems like a disastrous marketing decision, and limiting it to the Xbox One console is a huge mistake.

     Source [ Tomb Raider Tumblr ]

Could This Be Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's Look? (Michelangelo)

     Is this awful kids Halloween costume an indication of the look we'll be getting with the Michael Bay Produced, Jonathan Liebesman  directed TMNT movie?  If so, I am once again losing steam for this project.  It started quite low to begin with, as Bay doesn't give me much hope with the liberties he takes with old IPs.  And then the Megan Fox as April O'Neil news.  Then of course the Shredder's casting choice, while being an actor I really enjoy (William Fichtner), doesn't fit the role.  Now this pic?  Good lord- is there no one in Hollywood with the capacity to stop this travesty?


     Source [ io9 ]


     For more of my Turtles posts [ TMNT ]

     Also check out:
          [ The TMNT Collectionary ]
          [ TMNT Block on Yardsellr on Facebook ]

Thanksgiving Day Humor: A Silence of the Lambs Meme

     At one point during my very long day at work someone mentioned someone basting a turkey in a very humorous-and-a-bit-strange way- and the individual doing it said it was like lotion for the turkey.  Of course my immediate thought was of Buffalo Bill making a dinner for one of his victims.  So I got home from work and finished the post right before this one, and then made this meme.  The Silence of the Memes.

Imagine a John Lennon Clone... From a Tooth.

     I read about this on not just one other website, but a few.  Apparently Canadian Dentist-slash-Beatles-fan Michael Zuk spent something like $30,000 to buy one of Lennon's molars that had been removed- and now is working with US researchers at an unnamed laboratory at Penn State to see if they can clone him, or at least what can be done with the DNA.


I couldn't help but make this image- the lyrics are just too fitting.

"I am nervous and excited at the possibility that we will be able to fully sequence John Lennon's DNA, very soon I hope," Zuk said. "With researchers working on ways to clone mammoths, the same technology certainly could make human cloning a reality..."

     Assuming they can extract the necessary sequences, would this even matter?  It wouldn't quite be "bringing back one of Rock's greatest stars" as Zuk thinks.  A clone doesn't get all the influences that the original had, all the distinct circumstances that shaped him.  The potential clone's experiences and life building won't be the same.  Times change and with the ridiculous modern era of music we could end up with a monster like Justin Bieber.
     A Lennon clone could have all the inherent talent (latent familial traits, etc) but no focus or drive to create.  Seriously, wasn't part of Lennon's inspiration to break out of the "normal system?"
     And as Lennon was part of the Beatles, the clone won't get the tremendous influence of George Harrison and Paul McCartney (and I suppose Ringo Starr as well).  There would be all the potential, but none of the rest. 

     I mean, what if he wanted to be a painter instead?  This potential clone would be their own individual, and would make their own choices, with their own rights.  Sure, the body will be the same, but the mind and whatever else makes us, well... us, is individualized.

     Here's Mr. Zuk's site for the curious: http://www.johnlennontooth.com/

Source [ PR Web ]

Let's Writey-Drawey!

     A few friends of mine have started a Tumblr feed about a game we occasionally play called Let's Writey Drawey. (check it out if you like- you can even submit ones you've done!)  It's not a new game, and it's one many people have heard of, or played in a variation.

     Essentially, one person writes a line (sometimes there are word count limits) and the next person illustrates the line and folds the line of text over for the next person, who in turn has to write a line based solely on the image drawn.  Simply put- it's an exercise in stupid humor.  As such, it's quite entertaining.

     Here's a couple I joined in for:

     1) Otters in my Pants!!!

     2)  2013: Year of the Mermaid.
   

"Literally" now means it's own opposite (figuratively) ?!?

     As if we needed anything more to tell us education is seriously lacking here in the ole U S of A, Google Dictionary now lists this:

     ...so now "literally," literally means it's complete opposite.  What.  The.  F**k?!?  This is a very bad sign for the future.


Source [ Google ]

Despicable Me 2: The Fart Blaster

     I saw Despicable Me 2 a few days ago, and the Fart Blaster is one of my favorite things the minions use.  After seeing the Fart Blaster on Amazon, I have to mention that there's a small piece in the description that tickled my fancy:

PRODUCT DESCRIPTION:  Ages 4+ Press trigger for fart sound effects and color changing lights. The Despicable Me Fart Blaster includes Joke Mode with 20 second time delay fart sound. CHOKING HAZARD - Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

     I know it's there for liability and legal what-have-you, but seriously, the "choking hazard" has to be some kind of raunchy flatulent by-product joke.  Isn't that the point of a fart gun?  Someone, somewhere, during the creation of this toy, had to have the same childish hilarity as me and caught this.  In my heart I know someone giggled at it and that simple fact brings me great joy.

*fart noise*

...tee hee...

Helped A Deer Today

     Looky what I found on the way out of work today- a poor little baby deer was trapped in our fenced in parking lot.  So I caught it with my bare hands and got it to the other side.

     Sometimes strange things occur.  And quite frequently they happen to me.

Tasha the Husky

45 Lbs of sexy sophistication.

     About a week ago, I house sat for a friend of mine that I've known for almost a decade.  The purpose of the sitting wasn't so much for the house, but to watch his billion pets. 
     Numero Uno is Tasha the Husky, who I've been fortunate enough to live with on previous occasions.  The pic to the right I took on one of the days it rained.  Which was all of them.  I think that may be why she looks kind of sleek and glowing.

    Next was a cat named Avery, but for some stupid reason (probably my horrible allergy to cats) I couldn't remember her name for the entire duration I stayed there, so I just called her Meow Mix. 

     Then a single tank of fish and...

     ...a small army of 60+ pigeons and their little brood of peeping chicks.  The fellow I house sat for is also a Pigeon trainer, racer, etc.  You can find his info over at Laser Loft Racing blog. 
     It was an interesting week spending time with my old friend Tasha and co.  Although I spent most of the time there doing homework.  Lame.

Borderlands 2: Krieg the Psycho meme 2: Silence the Voices: Anchorman

     Well, due the Silence the Voices' negative part of the skill (12% chance to hit yourself) continually happening (3x plus times in a row CONSISTENTLY) in the game I made another fitting meme for Krieg.  This time referencing one of my all time favorite movies ever- Anchorman.  We'll be getting a sequel to the film soon so these references will be popping up more frequently as the release nears.
    Besides, Sex Panther is the olfactory equivalent of smashing your own face in so it kind of fits.

I'm gonna be honest, it tastes like pure gasoline.

Cosmo Produces Worst Advice Ever

     Being a male, I typically don't read Cosmopolitan magazine, but a friend on Facebook pointed this article out: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/i-cheated-now-what#slide-1 it's titled "You Cheated on Him. Now What?" by Jennifer Benjamin.

     Uhhh... I've always heard that the advice on dating and sex in this publication was pretty bad, but this is downright stupid.  The very first piece of advice is to lie.  Well, at least omitting the truth.  Not just once, but multiple times.  Don't tell anyone, because lies will fix everything.  Absolutely ridiculous.

     My favorite part is where she quotes psychologist Marcella Bakur Weiner, PhD, author of Cheaters.

Even if you've covered your tracks, your man could discover your indiscretion. Assuming you still want to be with him, your best bet is to say how sorry you are, swear it'll never happen again, and beg for his forgiveness. Now is not the time to get into the reasons why you did it. "Wait a couple weeks before airing your grievances," says Weiner. "He needs time to process the betrayal without being confronted with the mistakes he's made."

     So you have to be honest with yourself, but not with the man, because it's his fault you cheated.

 Seriously, what is wrong with people?  Maybe the cheater should take responsibility for their own actions and NOT push blame, make excuses, and then try to cover it up.
     If this was an article in, say Maxim Magazine, saying it was all right for men to cheat there would be a massive shit storm.  I am quite disgusted with the awful advice this article has given. 

     On the plus side there are plenty of females AND males tearing the article apart.  For that I thank all of you honest ladies (and gentlemen) out there. 

Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles Fully Cast

     We are one step closer to having our beloved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ruined forever.  Michael Bay's (and Jonathan Liebesman's) Ninja Turtles reboot, possibly being aliens, and not even teenagers, has been fully cast.  Well, just April O'Neil and the 4 turtles. 

Alan Ritchson as Raphael
Pete Ploszek as Leonardo
Jeremy Howard as Donatell
Noel Fisher as Michelangelo
and...
Megan "Cardboard human" Fox as April.

     Apparently the turtles themselves will be motion captured, and that fact does absoluetly nothing for consoling my low expectations for this probable tragedy.

This Ninja Turtles is slated for release on June 6, 2014.

Typical MN Weather.

     It's almost 11:30pm here in the wonderful state of Minnesota, and I just got back in from discharging a slew of patients- that means walking them in wheelchairs out to their vehicles.  Let me tell you, scrubs are not the most insulating material to be bundled in for this line of work, or at least this portion of the it- out in the winter weather with sub-zero temps and plenty of wind, and only scrubs to protect me from the cold. 

     I feel like Grandpa Simpson when he got lit on fire in that old Treehouse of Horror episode, and his response is a sad, "Ohh, I'm still cold."  

 

     Really, this is a potential job hazard of working at a hospital doing patient care and I have reason to believe that all my potential future progeny are now cryogenically frozen inside me as I type this.  Frozen nards are a scary thing! 

     SERIOUSLY!!!  Scrubs are the equivalent of tissue paper clothes!  It's like wearing colored air.  I may never feel toasty-warm again.  Each person discharged is worth between 5 and 15 minutes of freezy, windy parking lot goodness.  Hopefully, there'll be no more discharging people tonight, because nobody likes a frosty nut-patch, and I don't think I can handle another dose of Jack Frost kicking me in the everything.

     Working in the middle of this:

N.O.A.A. Warning -
Event: Wind Chill Warning
Alert: ...DANGEROUS WIND CHILLS WILL PERSIST THROUGH TUESDAY MORNING...
TEMPERATURES WILL ONLY RISE A FEW DEGREES THIS AFTERNOON...BUT
REMAIN BELOW ZERO. EVEN A 10 TO 15 MPH WIND WILL CREATE WIND CHILL
VALUES BETWEEN 20 TO 40 BELOW ZERO ACROSS THE REGION. THE COLDEST
WIND CHILL VALUES WILL OCCUR ACROSS WEST CENTRAL AND CENTRAL
MINNESOTA. TEMPERATURES WILL FALL WELL BELOW ZERO OVERNIGHT...AND WITH A 5 TO 10 MPH WIND...WIND CHILL VALUES WILL CONTINUE IN THE 25 TO 45 BELOW RANGE.
...WIND CHILL WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 9 AM CST TUESDAY...
* WIND CHILL VALUES...BETWEEN 30 AND 45 BELOW INTO TUESDAY MORNING.

I'm completely trustworthy!

     I went to a party this weekend that was themed on douchebaggery.  It was everyone dressing up in some form of douchey-ness and it was epic.  Here is a pic of me in all my swarthy getup.  Fear all ye that look upon this image!

     On a side note, Ryan blew everyone out of the water in his surfer-boy douche duds.  The pink polo, 2 odd angled visors, fake tattoos and retro sparkle glasses? GENIUS!  The wig and commitment to "in character" attitude are what really set him ahead of everyone.  Even ahead of all those people that were real life douchebags that showed up in their natural state.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!  *grumble grumble*  Being an actual douchebag doesn't count when attending a douchebag party... 

     Douches.

Ryan as Chet (pronounced Shet)