6.04.2014

Goat Simulator Patch is so Awesome They Made a Trailer for It!!!

     A long while back I stumbled across a game that looked so preposterous I really, really wanted to play it- just a little game called Goat Simulator.  Well, after a while of work and school I forgot about it, then remembered it, but then I read a patch was on the way so I decided to wait to buy it.
     Well, the Goat Simulator patch 1.1 was released, and it is so good they made a trailer.


     What makes this patch even better is the notes they put on Steam for it:

  • Added local splitscreen multiplayer 
  • Added a new map, try it out in the “custom game” section 
  • The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old 
  • Humans consequently learned to speak. You’ll wish they hadn’t. 
  • Added more goats 
  • Isn’t this kid super cute? http://vimeo.com/95834056 
  • Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue. 
  • Added more powers 
  • Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat 
  • Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game 
  • Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay 
  • Added tons of achievements 
  • You can now run along walls 
  • You can now run up walls 
  • Stand by for Goatfall 
  • Changed batteries in our fire alarm 
  • The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount. 
  • The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount. 
  • The Humans have learned how to ride Goats 
  • Enjoyed flappy goat 
  • You can now buy hats for money 
  • This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here 
  • Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear 
  • Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect. 
  • Added VR support 
  • Reverted hitbox of flappy goat 
  • Made hitbox worse on flappygoat 
  • Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game. 
  • Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat. 
  • Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch 
  • Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30 
  • Just kidding. 
  • Removed VR support 
  • Ultra-realistic water simulation 
  • Fire alarm still beeping 
  • You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion. 
  • Added volume slider in options for NPC speech. 
  • Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica. 
  • We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects. 
  • Updated patch notes. 
  • Added a lot of new sound effects. 
  • Mary had a little ... GOAT!? Historians uncover new evidence, click here! 
  • There is a new game inside of the game, it’s called SteamWorld Goat. 
  • Honored Notch 
  • Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again. 
  • Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us? 
  • Patch notes now covers more than an A4. 
  • Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down 
  • Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes? 
  • New patch? 
  • Patch released today does anyone know what it does 
  • Where are the patch notes 
  • Fire alarm still beeping 
  • Why is the patch so big? 
  • Lazy devs. 
  • If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload? 
  • Is this game worth it? Should I buy? 
  • Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks 
  • I don’t like ___, please add an option to remove ___ 
  • Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish 
  • Plz come back 
  • Actually optimized the game a bit 
  • What use are ladders when you can run on the walls? 
  • I hate water 
  • Played a whole lot of Wildstar 
  • Volvo pls fix ___. 
  • Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
  • Added Uncle Goat, I’m sorry about my Goat. 
  • Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
  • Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye. 
  • We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it. 
  • Updated our Meta Score to 91/100. 
  • Killed PC gaming 
  • How long will the patch notes be? 
  • Changed batteries in the other fire alarm 
  • Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15. 
  • Ride a bike with a human on your back. Not like this dude: 
  • You can now play ragdoll goat hockey!


     Source [ Goat Simulator Page on Steam ]

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