Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: More Like Agents of S.H.!.T.

Agent Coulson's not even cleared for his own files.
     I've waited for 7 full episodes for this show to get good.  Unfortunately it is still lacking.  I am in no way impressed so far.
     Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. needs to stop boasting that it's a Joss Whedon show when it really isn't.  Sure, the show has the Whedon name attached, but none of the writing and characters to back it up.  Just because a show has his name pasted all over it doesn't mean it magically becomes imbued with his talent.

Agents of S.H.!.T.

     It suffers from poor characterization, terrible chemistry, and downright awful dialogue.  Seriously, the show should be called Agents of S.H.!.T. because it's that bad.  Where's our interesting dynamics and thoughtful story lines.  Never would I thought I'd hear myself utter these words, but Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. makes that abysmal series called Arrow look like a masterpiece.

     In all honesty, I expected more of this show.  We were led to believe this would be a show about the Agents, who should be the best of the best, not cardboard cut outs cliches.  The show is too campy, with a clumsy handle of the team Coulson put together.  I mean really, Skye doesn't belong there, she barely brings anything to the table, and Agent Ward is just as useless.  Fitz and Simmons can be allowed as they are behind the scenes characters with mass amounts of useful knowledge, but Skye and Ward shouldn't be.  They are too generic.  Should I even mention the robotic caricature May?

     You know the show is going terribly when Agent Fitz's sandwich is more interesting than Skye's annoying focus on her past.  She doesn't have clearance and complains repeatedly- prompting me to want her to be gone.  Outside of Skye caring about her past, no one else should- I wouldn't even care if she was the mysterious child of Coulson and May.  It doesn't matter, because she doesn't matter- her "hacking" skills aren't magic, and they certainly aren't doing much in the show, so why is she still there?  The show seems to want us to care about her but since she is an overconfident, underwhelming performer that has already screwed up- why would we want to give her a chance?

Coulson Reconditioned

     The only properly developed character feels neutered.  Agent Coulson had a great set up through the films and now on the show he seems off.  He isn't the quick witted, Men in Black secretive bad ass he was in the films.  Granted it could be because he's a clone or something- mostly because of the super overt, anvil dropping hints to him not knowing what happened.  Agent Hill saying he can never know what really happened, the Pavlovian Tahiti response he continually gives, the gun muscle memory is missing when toying with one, and the eye-spy asking what "they did to him" because he seems so different- all highly overt clues to Coulson not being himself.
     Maybe he's a memory implanted Life Model Decoy that had scars added.  Maybe there's a whole warehouse full of them somewhere all waiting to be wakened and released.  That would explain how he seemed to be everywhere when needed in the films.  Tahiti, that "magical place," could easily be a compound capable of doing strange things.  Maybe he's a Skrull, a brainwashed shapeshifter, or even Project Vision brought to us courtesy of Hank Pym's Ultron.  There are so many options.  Hell- he could be the personified bridge to the future Avengers 2: Age of Ultron.
     Agent Coulson was NOT resurrected from the dead to lug around a bunch of D list agents, he was brought back for something bigger than babysitting a bunch of lame nobodies on a plane.  The show needs to get to it quickly, he worked with the damn Avengers, gods and heroes among men, so he should be doing something worthwhile.

"Trust the System"

     The most recent episode they repeatedly say "trust the system," and don't do it, so why should we as viewers?  Really.  I want to understand why the show insists we trust.
     These agents are supposed to be the best of the best, so why is it they are all a bunch of bumbling idiots?  Nick Fury is in charge of a super secret organization that everyone apparently knows about, but manages to inflict a massive amount of bureaucratic bungling of typical government agencies.

     There has been something missing from this show- we need to stray from the failing formulaic stories and the drug out artificial mysteries- make us want to watch, give us great reasons to watch, characters we want to root for.  I'm sorry to ramble, but this show has immense potential- a vast plethora of Marvel Comics history to draw from- why aren't they tapping it?
     I would even enjoy a surveillance episode devoted to simply them tracking evidence of a vigilante like the Punisher.  Or a semi super human serial killer like Sylar from Heroes.

Make it worth our time

     I think the show's tone needs to be fixed.  All this minor issue/monster of the week is boring.  Where is all the intrigue and real threats that S.H.I.E.L.D. should be handling.  We viewers expect more from this show.  Nothing Avengers level, but with shows like Game of ThronesBreaking Bad, and even Heroes- we know good shows.  Agents hasn't lived up to the hype and it still has a chance to change.  Get better writers (how about actual comic book writers?), more interesting problems, and make this show worth our time, and maybe they can gain back some of the lost viewers that have been abandoning it.  Just make it worth our time.

No comments:

Post a Comment