8.26.2012

Expendables 2: A Manvie. (Man's Movie)

     Went to see the Expendables 2 last night and was surprised to find myself entirely entertained.



     I was correct in thinking the level of testosterone increase upon viewing this film with my Twitter comment a few days ago.  I grew 7 more balls, muscles sprouted on top of other muscles, and my vocabulary shrank considerably.  Walking out of the theater my friend and I were reduced to Tim Allen's type of manspeak- all grunts and noises. 
    
     Ruuuarg!  Ooog rawrrred gurraaawwww!  AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 
*Incoherent noises and absurd muscle flexing*

     It was a wonderful time being barbaric simpletons. 

     This film is pure action movie entertainment.  Massive explosions, guns, muscle flexing, and ludicrous amounts of homage inspired one-liners.  The Expendables 2 doesn't try to be a large budget blockbuster.  It doesn't strive to win awards.  It was made with the sole purpose of enjoyment- and it more than delivers.  If you want to enjoy a simple action film that harkens back to the GREATS in the 1980's- SEE THIS MOVIE!!!


     If they make a third, which could very well happen, I have a few ideas about that.

     1)  I think it would be amazingly fitting to have a Steven Seagal cameo.  Not as large a part as the Chuck Norris role in part 2, but just have him as...   you guessed it- a cook.  A cook that used to work Special Ops with one of the other characters.  Maybe have him poked fun at because Culinary Arts are his passion above Martial Arts.

     2)  Jean Claude Van Damme had a good role in this movie,  however, I don't believe he had enough screen time.  (Same goes with a few of the others, I want to see more Terry Crews)  As a throwback to cliched movie happenings- he could play his own twin brother out for vengeance.

     This next one is red because I believe it's a damn good idea.  That should be followed up on by the all powerful movie producers and film industry.
     3)  Where the hell are all the FEMALE action stars from the 80's???  Hello Sigourney Weaver, Bridgette Nielson, Cynthia Rothrock, and Linda Hamilton!?!?  They could be sent in to save or assist the Expendables.  Simple and awesome.  These women played outstanding film heroes and I would love to see these ladies kick ass again. 
     Hell- give them their own movie- I'd go see it in a heartbeat. 

     4)  There are still a bunch of others that could show up like Michael Dudikoff from the American Ninja series.  Once again I'm leaning towards a new team to "Pass the Torch to."  Think of the newer actors they could get.  Chris Hemsworth as his actual brother's in movie brother, Milla Jovovich, Tom Cruise, etc. 
   

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