7.16.2012

Dark Knight Rises: Bane vs. Batman


     Not gonna lie, I think this is Bane's master plan.  He's trying to get Batman into the ring for some serious WWF or WWE wrestling championship match.  Maybe that thing on Bane's head is a mouthguard and ear protector combo.  Can't be getting cauliflower ear while giving Batman the beatdown of his life during Gotham's Rumble-fest 2012. 
     This ultimate showdown needs to be dramatic, not gross.  Safety first and whatnot.
     It'll probably go like this: Zap! Bam! Pow!  *Atomic leg drop* *Backbreaker* *Paralyzed Batman gets a job announcing matches and coaching until he gets better*  and finishes with... *Batman uses a Drop toe-hold into a Sharpshooter leg hold* and Bane taps out in disappointing failure.  The Heavy Weight Champion of Gotham is Batman.  
     I wonder about Bane's crazy ass mask.  Apparently it's feeding him painkillers, but I think otherwise.  Maybe it's hiding a nasty light blonde molester moustache.  A molestache?  Sounds about right.  Extra creepy.
     Or what if it's just a massive set of orthodontic headgear braces?   Hhmmm... that would explain why he is so pissed off all the time.
     On a serious note, I hope Mr. Nolan knocks this one out of the park.  Reviews are saying as much, but I'll wait until I've actually seen it for a review.  By review, I mean a bunch of random thoughts about the movie.  Super excited as it's just a few days away.
     Interestingly I wonder if they'll bring in an Azrael type character towards the end...  Doubtful, but oh well.

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