MIT Researchers Create Cruel Tongue Twister

“Pad kid poured curd pulled cod.”

     I came across a [ Boston Magazine ] article today about this tongue twister and thought it was quite the malicious test to run on people.  The devious minds at MIT have created this horrible statement to torture us with our inability to say it 10 times fast.  I can't even say it one time at normal speed.

X-Men: Bryan Singer Tweets Apocalypse 2016

     Look at this very intriguing Tweet Bryan Singer posted a earlier today:

#Xmen #Apocalypse 2016!
— Bryan Singer (@BryanSinger) December 5, 2013

      Will we finally get to see the arrival of En Sabah Nur, the ancient Egyptian and first mutant Apocalypse,  on the big screen in 2016?  Perhaps.  I know there are plenty of plans Marvel has on the horizon in the way of other Marvel series' in the film industry through 2016- so this is fully plausible.

     I personally hope it's the En Sabah Nur from "Earth 4935."  If he is handled correctly this could be an unbelievable move on the film makers part.

Wonder Woman Cast in Man of Steel 2: Superman vs Batman: Gal Gadot

     Apparently Zack Snyder has cast his upcoming Man of Steel sequel's Wonder Woman.  Coming after the huge uproar about Ben Affleck as Batman, which I agree with (after watching The Town I believe he can pull it off)- is supposedly Fast and Furious star Gal Gadot.  It seems DC will be shoe-horning in some major players, most likely to force a quicker Justice League film release, which this is sounding more like every day.

     “Wonder Woman is arguably one of the most powerful female characters of all time and a fan favorite in the DC Universe. Not only is Gal an amazing actress, but she also has that magical quality that makes her perfect for the role. We look forward to audiences discovering Gal in the first feature film incarnation of this beloved character.” -Zack Snyder

     First off, I am 100% grateful that it wasn't a plain white woman in the role, as Wonder Woman is an Amazonian.  Although... I am very unhappy because Gadot far too slender.  Granted, there is the "overhaul of training and working out argument," but I have NEVER seen a female actress pull it off.  Especially to the proportions required of a bulky Amazonian warrior.  Christian Bale doing it is one thing, as he is known for an absurd level of dedication to the roles he takes, but a lanky model of an actress?  That is another thing altogether.
     Wonder Woman is supposed to be a beautiful and imposing figure.  She has to look like she can go toe-to-toe with Superman and Batman.  She has to appear like she can beat the living crap out of a feared vigilante and an alien demigod on Earth.  We have NO NEED of a looks based character, this is a time when movie makers have a chance to show that strong women can also have muscles.  Unfortunately, Gal Gadot looks like if she tried to punch a fluffly pillow her arm would shatter in at least 14 places.
     She doesn't need to look like an American Gladiator, but undoubtedly much, much larger than she is now.

     Yes, I know I'm jumping the gun here, and yes I remember the hubbub of Heath Ledger as the Joker, but I also remember Ledger having a range of roles before that as well.  Her 'amazing acting" as Snyder calls it was none too thrilling at all in the Fast and Furious films, nothing at all suggesting she is capable of making the big-screen debut of an essential DC icon.  I will try my damnedest to reserve harsher judgement until I actually see her in the role, but this is a very controversial casting choice.

     My faith in this future DC film is waning quickly.  Unless Miss Gadot gains a bunch of mass I really think this casting choice could seriously hurt DC's already questionable movie history.  Outside of the Dark Knight series, even the Man of Steel had a bunch of issues.  Do you recall what happened with the Green Lantern?  It was miscast (Reynolds could've passed as Kyle Raynor, but Hal Jordan?  No way), poor script, and it ended up a giant mess.  Should I even mention the 2011 Wonder Woman tv show pilot with Adrianne Palicki?

     Even if it is simply a cameo leading to The Justice League, Wonder Woman deserves a chance.  So please Snyder and Gadot, don't f*ck this up.  Odds are she'll be a cameo to be pushed into her own film, but still, DO NOT F*CK THIS UP SNYDER.  No one wants Wonder Woman to turn out like one of your ridiculous Sucker Punch girls.
     And for miss Gal Gadot, this is your chance to up your game to become an unmatched female superhero/role model.  If you pull this off, with all the dedication you can muster, you will live in fandom's heart forever.

Source [ Deadline ]

The Last Door: 8-bits of Eldritch Horror

     After stumbling across an interesting article over at GameInformer.com I have to say I have found a great point-and-click game with The Game Kitchen's The Last Door.

     The Game Kitchen began this project with a Kickstarter fund to develop this free-to-play browser-based episodic indie game.  The 8-bit world they've created is heavily, and hauntingly, inspired by the pulp horrors of Lovecraft and the dark verse of Poe.

     "After all the things I've seen..."

     ...is how it all begins.  A man named Anthony Beechworth is slowly and quite deliberately committing suicide.  He leaves behind an old friend, bound to find his body, with a letter telling of the inescapable path he was on being ended through death.
     The player is the old boarding school friend, Jeremiah Devitt, that received the letter.  After travelling to the abandoned Beechworth estate, players must unravel the mystery of what happened.

     Solving the cryptic mystery of the friends' shared past is an odd experience.  It leaves you feeling like the few people you do encounter are hiding something, and Devitt himself may have repressed some of his own deadly secrets from the past.  Confronting these memories leads indefinitely towards more questions, but they have me hooked.  I want to unlock the mysteries and dredge up the murky past to know what indescribable horrors these friends had encountered long ago.

     After playing the first 2 chapters I swiftly donated money and will be playing the third in a couple days- opened after a donation, but will be free-to-play when the fourth becomes available to supporters in January.  I've never been a big point-and-clicker, but this gem does so much with so little.  Don't let the pixel art fool you, the low res graphics don't detract from the creepy horror or eerie tones at all.  It is a tremendous feat to create such an ambiance with a handful of pixels.  But where this game really shines is the sound- the music and sounds need to be heard through headphones to truly experience the unsettling atmosphere.  Preferably to be played in the dark as well.

     I would highly suggest fans of horror check this game out.  It is a puzzling tale that may have dreadful inhuman origins.  It is very effective in unnerving you when things happen while you aren't looking, a remarkable achievement when you consider they are using the simplest type of game possible.  A masterfully subtle, creeping horror wholly pervades The Last Door, and I eagerly await what comes from beyond it.


Source [ The Last Door ]

TMNT: Out of the Shadows: PS3 Delay Update: Sort of...

     Today Red Fly Studios posted this image on their Official Facebook page for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.  It doesn't give us any information what-so-ever, other than the fact they are still paying attention to it.

     There is still no potential release date given.  No new information at all.  Just an image.  But, something is better than nothing, right?  I have a sneaking suspicion they may be trying to port it to PS4 (or Vita) as well for a dual-system Playstation release, but that is merely my own speculation.

     I should note that Red Fly doesn't seem to reply to any communications, as I have not gotten a single response to emails.  Others I've spoken to are in the same situation- no replies.  One might suppose they are being inundated with hate mail though, so I suppose that is to be expected.  I mean visit their Facebook page for Out of the Shadows, it's a long bombardment of uncivil comments, with a few good ones peppering it for good measure.  We'll have to settle for patience and be on their schedule.  Besides, we'd rather have a bug-less, playable game than a constant glitch-fest when we finally get the game.

     They also have released a trailer, a while ago, for Inertia: Escape Velocity.  So I am sure they are pumping most of their work into the new game.  And despite my desire to play TMNT: Out of the Shadows, Inertia looks pretty good.

     For other Ninja Turtles posts I've written [ TMNT ]

Thanksgiving Day Humor: A Silence of the Lambs Meme

     At one point during my very long day at work someone mentioned someone basting a turkey in a very humorous-and-a-bit-strange way- and the individual doing it said it was like lotion for the turkey.  Of course my immediate thought was of Buffalo Bill making a dinner for one of his victims.  So I got home from work and finished the post right before this one, and then made this meme.  The Silence of the Memes.

Thanksgiving Day at Work... For a Good Reason

     I worked today- November 28th, 2013.  Thanksgiving Day.  A very long 13 hour shift.  You might ask yourself why would someone want to work on the highly American Holiday of feasting and gorging ourselves on as much food as we can take before bursting?
     Could it be the wonderful double time pay?  No, unfortunately, I do not get holiday pay.
     Is it the great company of coworkers?  After a 50% call in rate for our department today, that would also be a no, although those that did show up were an awesome bunch.
     Could it be because my own friends and family are horrible?  No, I would much rather be with them enjoying myself and devouring a frankly disturbing amount of food and drink.

     For readers that don't know what I do, I work in a hospital, a very large, continuously busy one at that.  More specifically, I work in direct patient care.  Many people don't think about that on holidays- of the people that ridicule me for working on holidays, never have they asked why.  Everyone assumes it must be some horrible consumerist plot tying me to a register to sell away trinkets to the masses.

     But alas, that is not it.  I work in a facility that tends to people.  Every year during the major holidays we get a decent trickle of lonely people that just want company.  We get plenty of genuine patients.  And lastly, we get a fair share of post-binge-drinking-with-the-family-and-friends patients that come in due to a brilliant idea to carve the turkey while juggling chainsaws and arguing politics with that very strange relative we all know.  And every year this last bunch provides me with a wealth of humorous stories I can't share due to HIPAA laws.
     While many have places to go to spend time reminiscing about the joys they have experienced with friends or family, not everyone is blessed with that opportunity.  We tend to forget that there are people out there suffering or lacking.  Hospitals NEVER close because illnesses and accidents don't take holidays.  I am giving these patients a sympathetic ear, a few laughs, and if possible- a little bit of hope for the future.  I am giving them a small glimmer of something they may not get at home- a tiny medicinal dose of friendly company.  A bit of distraction to keep their minds off the situation they are in.

     Just got a halo and need help balancing to get to a bathroom?  I'm there.  Have to be lifted out of bed after an emergent appendectomy?  Right here.  Broken toe from getting frustrated at so-and-so and drop kicking a frozen turkey?  Guess who's going to ask how far it went?  That's right, this guy.  While I'm at work, it is my priority to make people feel better about the fact that sometimes life is unfair and shitty.  Today I suggested that a patient call someone to smuggle them in some cranberry contraband like an old prison break movie.  After questioning their RN, they did indeed do exactly that and received a nice visit loaded with goodies.
     Because of that fact, I don't mind being a disposable health care worker.  I don't mind being overworked and under appreciated on the job.  I don't mind sacrificing my own holiday celebration because I can give it up to help someone else achieve something like one.  A small measure of normalcy to be sure, but that can mean a lot to someone stuck in a hospital.

     I think what I'm trying to get at is- Thanksgiving and Christmas shouldn't be limited to a single day of the year- but rather something we share every day.  Isn't that what these 2 days are about?  Being kind and helping those in need.  Being thankful, caring, and generous.  Being open to, and aware of, the thought that there will always be someone in need of something as simple as a kind word and any one of us can provide it- on any day and in any circumstance.

Borderlands 2: The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler: A Tastepocalypse Review

     MISTER TORGUE

     In the newest Borderlands 2 DLC Headhunter pack we get a very small taste of Thanksgiving flavored Holiday delight.  I have to stress the very small part, this is considerably smaller than even TK Baha's Bloody Harvest was.
     Mister Torgue is hosting a show for the Torgue Corporation that is very much inspired by the Hunger Games.  There are Tributes from a few locales from around Pandora that appear as sort of paired mini-bosses on the way to fight the (Actually) Invincible Ravenous Wattle Gobbler.  I know I've joked about having an actually invincible boss before but never thought it would happen, and then came the Wattle Gobbler.  Well Played Gearbox.

     The story here is actually much better than Bloody Harvest.  As soon as Torgue arrived with the Campaign of Carnage, he was easily one of the most well-rounded characters in the series in addition to his superb characterization.  Anyways- Torgue goes against the Torgue Corp. and helps the Vault Hunters beat the rigged game show because A) He likes them and they are friends and B) He wants to eat the Gobbler.
     The Vault Hunter's get the inside scoop from Torgue and you are sent in to poison the Gobbler and beat all the other contestants on the show.  While this doesn't sound like much there is a mass narrative segment at the end in a mission with...

     Grandma Flexington

     The elder Lady Flexington is something I thought was an odd, but ingenious addition to the game.  She provides a very long-winded quest involving a ridiculous meandering story. (I think her voice sounded way to young, I think they should've gotten a real old lady to do a Torgue impersonation for the role)
     This is the toughest raid boss yet.  Sitting through an old women's tale.  Throughout the telling however, we get to know Torgue and his past quite well.  What happened to his parents, how he became fascinated/obsessed with explosions, and the fact he had a full mustache before he was 10 years of old.
     It gives you a view of his character, and Grandma's, something like sympathy and respect for the struggles and embarrassment he went through.  And the reason he does things for- pure awesomeness.  No really, he does things because they are awesome.
     I'm sure this is a divisive quest among many long time fans as it requires players to do something they really haven't had to do yet- listen to someone at length without action.  There are those that really dig in for story, and those that just want to shoot things.  Since I fall in with the former, I enjoyed the story.  Scouring it for clues and hints for future Borderlands related stuff.  She does mention "the end of the universe..."

     Wattle Gobbler, the Vulnerable

     The content here is unbelievably minimal and makes me question why they didn't plunder more areas for Tributes simply for filler.  Think of all the places we haven't seen since the first Borderlands and it's DLC- maybe a couple Tribute's from the Zombie Island of Dr. Ned, or a pair of Clap-Trapped leftovers from the Claptrap's Robolution.  They could've thrown in teaser Tributes from Pandoran locations we've never heard of but they could save for future use.  Or even Hyperion bots sent as Tribute proxies!

     And so far I haven't been able to find any real Easter Eggs like the Clark the Combustible Cryptkeeper from Bloody Harvest.  Although there is a large black hole in a wall out by the stabber jabber nests that seems completely unused.
     Although the cooks names are great references- Chef Gouda Ramsay and Chef Bork Bork (A Muppets reference!) to name a couple.  There is also the oven with a batch of cooked up crystal slag, pointing towards the show Breaking Bad.

     Overall, I highly appreciate the fact Gearbox is still putting out small DLC for the fans to stave off our hunger for a third Borderlands installment, but I really wish they were a bit longer.  We are paying a fifth of the DLC cost for much less than a fifth of the gameplay.  When the presumably Christmas-themed How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day arrives next month, I will gladly purchase it to spend a little more time in my favorite game world.

     Also- why aren't there any Torgue Vending machines in this Headhunter Pack?

Tiny Death Star Shenanigans!

     Despite Disney relegating LucasArts to licensing, some games are arriving that are still worth your time.  This first game since the shutdown is through NimbleBit, plastering a Star Wars covering over their Tiny Tower and calling it Tiny Death Star.

Now witness the buying power of this fully STAFFED and OPERATIONAL shopping station! 

     Because it is Star Wars related I gave this a go the first day it came out and enjoyed it quite a bit.  Creating a multistory mall and apartment complex inside the Dark Side of the Force's Ultimate weapon wasn't something that really appealed to my inner gamer, but I had to play this because the little characters were so adorable.  Finding dream jobs for workers or creating a new secret level for Stormtroopers to impose their cute interrogation techniques on Rebel Scum, it's all worth a playing when you have a bit of free time.  The Star Wars theme elevator music adds a layer of hilarity I never thought I'd hear.  Then I promptly forgot about the game.

     Now to the good stuff.  After being true to the Dark Side, I used my Sith Lord powers to neglect the entire Tiny Death Star for almost 3 weeks.  When I returned I wasn't berated by Emperor Palpatine, merely questioned as to where I was.  And somehow, while most the shops had closed down, I managed to rake in quite a lot of credits, as well as 10 Imperial Bux.  I honestly thought I would return to a bunch of  itty bitty dead bodies in a moon-sized can.
     Clearly I was out Lording my Sith over those silly Ewoks down on Endor.  Alas, much to my surprise, a small infestation of them had moved into my Duct Repair level.  Seriously?!?  How did they get here before me?  They have ZERO technology!  There also happen to be a bunch of Jawas taking over Toydarian Toys.  Not cool Jawas, not cool.

Oh, I'm afraid the deflector SALES will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

     Management simulators like Tiny Death Star really aren't my thing, but as a free to play mobile game, this is pretty close to getting me hooked- as close as anything like it has gotten at least.  The game provides little in the way of action, but seeing a lil' Lando hanging out with an Indiana Jones look-a-like in the Holochess Hall makes me smile.  It also makes me wonder what other great games may be on the horizon of the Force...

     One last thing of note- I have yet to see any microscopically tiny Midichlorians, and we can all be thankful for that.

If you SHRINK me down, I shall become more ADORABLE than you can imagine!

Adventure Time Explore the Dungeon Because I DON'T KNOW! Review Because I Ugghh.

     When it comes to the Cartoon Network series Adventure Time, it's a hard thing to say something might be lacking.  As for WayForward's newest game based on that wonderful show- Adventure Time Explore the Dungeon Because I DON'T KNOW! well...

Why is this game so bad?!?

     Explore the Dungeon takes place in a very generic, randomized floor design dungeon setting.  Which, considering the cast of characters and the content they have at their disposal, sounds like a recipe for gaming gold, but it is far, FAR from that.

     It really shouldn't be hard to make a simple top-down dungeon-crawler, but somehow this got flubbed big time.  Of all the playable characters (Jake, Finn, Marcelin, and Cinnamon Bun to start, with others unlocking as you play), they all play the same.  There isn't anything to truly differentiate each character.  It all comes down to going in and mashing the attack button.  Occasionally getting a special move or sub-weapon to assist.  Nothing original or imaginative to play with.
     Ok, I take that back, many of the sub-weapons had me laughing, but got to be as boring as the gameplay very swiftly.  The Newt Poot cannon that shoots fart clouds, a Cone O' Nine Flavors to tastily flay enemies, and a gun that launches kittens are all entertaining, but work quite poorly.  Only later in the game, when you find the very powerful sub-weapons is it really feasible to use.  Marceline, however, desperately needs a melee sub-weapon because her main attack is so weak.

     You may have heard that there are 100 floors!  Yeah, that sounds amazing!  Except for the fact they are primarily empty.  The simple addition of a run button could've at least helped a little.  And the enemies you do happen to come across are all the same.  Over and over, ad nauseam.  What you don't really hear about is that they are broken into 20 floor themes- not too bad, but you can't leave without a great cost- if you hit a checkpoint (every 5th level) and you exit, if you don't spend all of your money you lose it.
     On top of that, if you happen to die before a checkpoint you lose half your gold and are automatically returned to the hub, thus forcing you to spend what little gold you have left.  And to make that just a bit more like a punch in the nuts, you have to replay all the levels you missed before the checkpoint again.  After losing your sub-weapon, half your gold, and any boost tokens you may have been using to pad your stats- replaying these levels becomes very irritating.
     I would also like to mention that because the leveling up costs so much, it becomes a grand slog to repeat the boring levels again to gain levels.
     Oh, yeah, I forgot, there is no exploring.  It's drop in, walk to a stairwell which will be located at the farthest point from you on the map, repeat.

     Here's a bit of good to say- I do really like the music and voice work.  They are top notch and hearing some of the things they say are quite hilarious.  Lumpy Space Princess and her confidence about her appearance will cause a chuckle, and hearing Marceline's nonchalance always makes me smile.  But these shouldn't be the best part of a game based on a show that continually tops itself with humor and imagination.
     This was a chance for game makers to do the show great justice and make an RPG to appeal to both the shows fans and to gamers.  If WayForward would've focused on making something like all the dungeon-crawlers of old they may have done something great.  This is sadly, a bland half-assed attempt at a game.

     As a fan of the land of Ooo, I must say this is a massive step backwards.  The most difficult boss of this game is Monotonous Tedium.  Unfortunately, this boss arrives quickly and persists in annoying the player right up until the end.

     And I'm still a little peeved that Steam players get to play as Peppermint Butler for free.  The game is already way overpriced, and paying more for a character I actually like in a terrible game just isn't worth it.