Josh News: Christmas 2015 & New Years Eve Edition: Butterfly Painting

     It's been a long year, lots of school, lots of work, lots of an internship, some surgery and a whole shit load of writing.  Hopefully I can maintain the output through the coming year for all of you readers out there.

     Here's a Christmas gift I painted for someone, and apologies for the image quality, I hadn't realized how strange it would look on camera due to the glossy coating I put over it.  It looks 20 times better in person.

     In other news this blog passed 300K visits like a week ago when I wasn't looking.  In addition I have a video channel prepared so I can start adding video content early in 2016!  To top that off, I'm going to try a bunch of new things, including potentially adding a fiction thread for stories and comics, some art as I've gotten the itch to create again, and so on.

     To all of you readers, Happy New Years!

Josh News Update! Labor Day 2014 Edition

This is my gross face.

     It's been a busy summer.  Sadly I haven't gotten to as much as I'd like.  Hell, I've hardly gotten to see any of my friends all summer due to school and work.

     On the good side, I'm already back in school, worked all day, and still have a ton of drafts on deck for posting to any readers that might be out there.  Plus I've been plowing through games, movies, and comics to review.

     I've been struggling to keep the right output I shot for up because I get hung up on school assignments.  Working over 40 hours a week tends to kill that nice momentum built up as well and on top of that I've been getting a ton of absolutely necessary work on my house done.

      Currently I'm looking into new windows and siding which is definitely going to put a huge dent in my future economic situation, but they really, really need to be changed- there's wood rotting, a shattered glass door, and a couple birds living in one wall.  These are issues that need attention stat!

     It is kind of tough sometimes, but I'm managing to keep a somewhat decent pace of a few posts a week.  Which was my original goal for school time.

     At this rate I might someday be a real live journalist!

     Or not.

     Whatever.

Borderlands 2: Headhunter Pack 4 Announced! Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre

     In another installment of subverted Holiday humor- our our friends on Pandora get a new Holiday surprise with Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre.

     Zafords, Hodunks, and Innuendobot 5000- Oh MY!  We are getting to see Moxxi and a lot of commentary by Elle.  Then a couple of lovestruck Goliath's one of which is now knocked up- a Romeo and Juliet story in a way that could only happen in Borderlands.

     Here's the official announcement from 2K:

"Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre was inspired by one of our favorite holidays and is full of love and cuddles, but with a Borderlands twist. This add-on features the return of Innuendo Bot 5000 and its creator, Mad Moxxi, as they try to bring two rival clans together with the help of the Vault Hunters. They think love and understanding will bring peace to the clans, but as you know, things don’t always work out the way you’d hope on Pandora – especially when it involves the Hodunks and the Zafords.  Ellie also makes an appearance and tries to help out too, but she isn’t very keen on keeping things civil.

     Did I mention there's a baby Goliath, complete with helmet?  And drunken Threshers that will give you contact drunkenness.

     I would like to point out that I fairly accurately guessed not 1, but two of the Holiday themes back when they announced Marcus's pack on Dec. 11.  (But- because St. Patrick's Day is so close to Valentine's Day they combined them into this one Moxxi Pack.)  (Clicking the pic will take you to the post)

     And lastly- and possibly the greatest news of all-

     "With that said, we still have one more Headhunter add-on planned. So, make sure to look out for the fifth and final Headhunter add-on for Borderlands 2, Sir Hammerlock Versus the Son of Crawmerax, coming in April and featuring the offspring of a fan-favorite enemy from the first Borderlands!"

     It is an odd and amazing thing that they've continued to put out new content long after the game has been released, but I love it all any way.  The son of Crawermax?  I wonder if we'll get a cameo from a revived from the dead again version of General Knoxx?

     Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre will be available Feb. 11 on Xbox Live, Playstation Network, and Mac/PC via Steam,  for $2.99.


     Source [ 2k Blog ]

A Merry-ish Christmas for 2013

Yep, that's my ugly mug on the job.

     Once again we've arrived at Christmas Day 2013.  Another decent year despite numerous life setbacks.  It's a time I like to equate with visiting family at gatherings I haven't been able to attend for years due to working in the medical field.  A time of reflection on the wonderful things we have, and that's not including material gifts.  It's about goodwill and common decency.
     And maybe watching movies like Scrooged, Gremlins, and A Christmas Story.  It's about enjoying the old Rankin-Bass claymation specials- Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  It's about being good for goodness' sake.  It's to be a child in heart, and an adult in deed.

     This year however, something was off.  No loss of family or anything  Nothing I could place a finger on.  Just an aura of stress.  Recently I've been having a ton of anxiety over the return to school- I finished a degree earlier this year and will be returning to further my education, but because of my specific circumstances, I'm needing appealing a bunch of things to make the transfer to another school feasible.  Unfortunately, it's a bad time for that, as everyone was preparing for the holidays.  Such being the case, all the classes I wanted to sign up for a month ago are now full, and the remaining class choices are slim indeed.
     All the stories I wanted to write, I never finished.  The comics and art I wished to make, also never completed.  There was always "work" to do, and excuses to be made.  This year I think I'm going to say screw it and follow my dreams of actually finishing my projects regardless of the endless obstacles.  Hell, I might even begin a Kickstarter Project so I can finish a book I started to write in high school about Mars.  At least it's a way to foster the creative drive I want to fulfill in a tough economic time.

     Then to add just a bit more to my plate, every year I try to make Christmas/Holiday cards entirely by hand.  (Here's a link to a some)  I personally prefer receiving things people make, don't get me wrong here, I'm highly appreciative of ANY gifts I receive, it's just that in these days I fully understand many others struggle to provide even small presents.  Even if it's a childish crayon picture I still enjoy them.

     This year however, I was way off my game, and despite having 50+ ideas, I just couldn't seem to get any of them to look right.  None of the watercolors looked OK.  None of the drawings or sketches worked how I wanted them to.  I even had a problem with a tube of oil paint somehow mixed in with all my gouaches- so when I went to use it, I ruined the picture.  Man, this year I feel like an absolute failure in the creativity area.  It's like all the talent and ability I had abandoned me for the holidays.  (The pic to the right is one of my work spaces and a load of supplies.)

     The only card I "finished" was a joke card.  I colored Gustave Dore's Nativity scene and made a joke comment about Jesus being clearly not Joseph's.

     So all I have thus far is a sketchbook of a hundred ideas, and a folder on my computer with 30 partially finished cards.  Last year I had a slew of Scratch-&-Sniff cards worked out with candy cane, gingerbread, and Christmas Tree scents, but the print shop screwed me on cost- so that was set aside, and this year I couldn't find a new printer.  This year I also had a couple lenticular cards based on ideas from 2007, but only recently found a print shop I can afford, so these will have to wait until next year as well.  Same goes with my "Elegant Snowflake" card, which is a watermarked snowflake design on a small card with only (Hold up to light.) showing in black ink, so when you hold it up, the card appears.

     Anyway, sorry to be a downer, I just wanted to share the fact I burned myself up completely this year- both artistically, and at the job, until I was dead tired.  I feel like I haven't done well enough for family and friends.  Today in particular I helped a lonely person feel welcome, made a patient with a nasty hip fracture laugh, promised another I wouldn't send them to nursing home for their present, and helped some visitors smuggle in a bunch of Christmas contraband.  Not much mind you, but it's the least I could do to spread at least a little bit of Christmas joy.  What I'm trying to get across here is that it just doesn't feel like I've done anything, like I haven't contributed properly, and want people to know I tried.

     Merry Christmas good readers.

Christmas Cards 2013: Black Jesus! It's Definitely Not Joseph's child!

     I already know I'll catch a lot of flack for this one- so here goes.  After seeing all this race hubbub going on about Santa and Jesus I figured might as well make a joke about it and add a touch of modern humor to the mix.  So I snagged an old Gustave Dore Nativity pic, colored it, then made it into a meme.
     I wasn't there and have no idea what went down, but I would totally laugh if one of the wise men cracked a joke like this after travelling so far.  Quite a surprise for the family of the newborn black baby Jesus!

     Besides, who gives a crap what color anyone was a couple thousand years ago- shouldn't we focus on the teachings they left behind?  To do good because it's the right thing to do?  Being a decent, generous, and caring person is more important than bickering over stupid shit any day.  Black or white, Jesus taught people to do good, and that is what should be remembered.

Smoothiefreak's "Christmas Cookies for Singles"

     Someone sent me this video and it is well worth watching.  Holiday cheer and maybe some regrets and tears make for delicious treats for you and your future cats.

Christmas Cards 2013: Megyn Kelly is An Idiot: Dreaming of a White Christmas

     With all the wonderfully absurd and highly controversial statements by Fox News' Megyn Kelly, I really couldn't help myself in making this "Christmas Card."  It's mostly a stupid meme, but I hope someone laughs at it...  and Miss Kelly gets a good lesson from it.  (The lesson being don't be a idiot.)

     Santa Claus can be what ever people want.  Hell, make him a lady, as long as Santa is teaching kids to be good I don't give a crap.  Make Santa a pile of dirty socks that deliver gifts and joy!  I'd still like it/him/her/other.  I mean isn't Christmas about being "good for goodness' sake?"  It's about generosity and caring about well being of everyone, not about petty squabbles- like Gretchen Carlson's comments about a Festivus pole ruining her Nativity scene view.  I may go put one up now myself...

Christmas Holiday Cards: 2013...

     This is a small Christmassy card/thing I made last year for someone while I worked on the really large Blue Jay picture project for someone else.  Originally it was going to be a large 3 part picture across multiple frames, but I ran out of time due to work and miscellaneous life setbacks (injury and medical issues).
     So I ended up making this smaller version and due to forgetfulness I didn't put it up on this blog.

Thanksgiving Day Humor: A Silence of the Lambs Meme

     At one point during my very long day at work someone mentioned someone basting a turkey in a very humorous-and-a-bit-strange way- and the individual doing it said it was like lotion for the turkey.  Of course my immediate thought was of Buffalo Bill making a dinner for one of his victims.  So I got home from work and finished the post right before this one, and then made this meme.  The Silence of the Memes.

Thanksgiving Day at Work... For a Good Reason

     I worked today- November 28th, 2013.  Thanksgiving Day.  A very long 13 hour shift.  You might ask yourself why would someone want to work on the highly American Holiday of feasting and gorging ourselves on as much food as we can take before bursting?
     Could it be the wonderful double time pay?  No, unfortunately, I do not get holiday pay.
     Is it the great company of coworkers?  After a 50% call in rate for our department today, that would also be a no, although those that did show up were an awesome bunch.
     Could it be because my own friends and family are horrible?  No, I would much rather be with them enjoying myself and devouring a frankly disturbing amount of food and drink.

     For readers that don't know what I do, I work in a hospital, a very large, continuously busy one at that.  More specifically, I work in direct patient care.  Many people don't think about that on holidays- of the people that ridicule me for working on holidays, never have they asked why.  Everyone assumes it must be some horrible consumerist plot tying me to a register to sell away trinkets to the masses.

     But alas, that is not it.  I work in a facility that tends to people.  Every year during the major holidays we get a decent trickle of lonely people that just want company.  We get plenty of genuine patients.  And lastly, we get a fair share of post-binge-drinking-with-the-family-and-friends patients that come in due to a brilliant idea to carve the turkey while juggling chainsaws and arguing politics with that very strange relative we all know.  And every year this last bunch provides me with a wealth of humorous stories I can't share due to HIPAA laws.
     While many have places to go to spend time reminiscing about the joys they have experienced with friends or family, not everyone is blessed with that opportunity.  We tend to forget that there are people out there suffering or lacking.  Hospitals NEVER close because illnesses and accidents don't take holidays.  I am giving these patients a sympathetic ear, a few laughs, and if possible- a little bit of hope for the future.  I am giving them a small glimmer of something they may not get at home- a tiny medicinal dose of friendly company.  A bit of distraction to keep their minds off the situation they are in.

     Just got a halo and need help balancing to get to a bathroom?  I'm there.  Have to be lifted out of bed after an emergent appendectomy?  Right here.  Broken toe from getting frustrated at so-and-so and drop kicking a frozen turkey?  Guess who's going to ask how far it went?  That's right, this guy.  While I'm at work, it is my priority to make people feel better about the fact that sometimes life is unfair and shitty.  Today I suggested that a patient call someone to smuggle them in some cranberry contraband like an old prison break movie.  After questioning their RN, they did indeed do exactly that and received a nice visit loaded with goodies.
     Because of that fact, I don't mind being a disposable health care worker.  I don't mind being overworked and under appreciated on the job.  I don't mind sacrificing my own holiday celebration because I can give it up to help someone else achieve something like one.  A small measure of normalcy to be sure, but that can mean a lot to someone stuck in a hospital.

     I think what I'm trying to get at is- Thanksgiving and Christmas shouldn't be limited to a single day of the year- but rather something we share every day.  Isn't that what these 2 days are about?  Being kind and helping those in need.  Being thankful, caring, and generous.  Being open to, and aware of, the thought that there will always be someone in need of something as simple as a kind word and any one of us can provide it- on any day and in any circumstance.

After Thanksgiving Holiday Post

     Home after a long Thanksgiving weekend.  I had the pleasure of being surrounded by kind people with plenty of food and good times.

     While I didn't see any of my own family, I wish them all the best.  Lord knows I don't see any of them as much as I should.

     I would also like to say I'm extremely grateful for having people care, having food and shelter and a decent job.  There are many people that don't have even the simple comfort of a place to go, and my heart goes out to all of them.

     I have a personal tradition of watching my favorite Thanksgiving film (Planes, Trains and Automobiles) sometime within the week of the Holiday. This movie is wonderful and I would like to thank John Hughes for this heartwarming film.  I leave this short post with a 4 panel comic I made from one of the best scenes.

     Really, making the best of what you've got, that's this movie in a nutshell.  If you haven't seen it, I would recommend it highly, the end is such a great feel-good scene. 

(A side note: A Batman(The Dark Knight) quote could easily be used on this 4 panel- "Some men just want to watch the world burn."  I feel that someone will get to it eventually.)

Happy Thanksgiving Middle Earth Style

     I've had these meme ideas in mind for some time, and figured with the Lego Lord of the Rings currently out and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey coming out soon, I could whip up some silly Holiday images.

     I made 2 Gandalf "You Shall Not Pass" meme pics, and 1 of Boromir's "One Does Not Simply" meme.

     Enjoy, and have a Happy Holiday season.

Only a single Christmas card finished this year.

Well, I am sad to say I only finished a single card this year.  Although there are like 30 sketched out and half finished ones for next year.
So enjoy:

Best Birthday Gift I've Given Someone: A God Complex

It was recently one of my friend's birthday and I was struggling with what to give her for a gift.  After much deliberation I decided to put some old skills to the test, and make something so amazing, all future birthdays would seem paltry in comparision.  What could be that awesome?  Then it dawned on me...

What I was thinking was, what better way to make someone feel good about being old than giving them the ability to play god and make(or destroy) things!?!  After years of research compressed into just a few weeks, I took my knowledge of genetic manipulation and some prehistoric DNA projects I had lying around the laboratory (desk drawer) and made it into a creator pill.  Something that has the capacity to grow an entire living creature by dropping it in some water.   

These were not nearly as good as the ones from when I was a child.  I recall being able to drop a single one of these into a glass of water and, if you were lucky, 30 seconds later the foam beast that sprouted from the glass wouldn't be large enough to devour you.  Unlucky people got things like an Argentinosaurus, which would grow large enough in that 30 seconds to destroy their house, some vehicles, and their neighbor's shed, or a very disoriented Velociraptor trying to devour their intestinal tract.  A few incidents caused us to rethink these wonderful magic-pet-maker-pills.  

I mean, insurance doesn't cover extinct 100+ ton Sauropods crushing your house in an attempt to nibble at the leaves of tall trees.  Doctors don't believe you when you say, "A Compsognathus bit me."  Nor did my 5th grade teacher buy it when I announced a Triceratops ate my Baking Soda Volcano. 

With that thought, these new pills are created with safety in mind.  There is a governer gene placed on their growth.  A maximum height of 3 inches.  The mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex isn't nearly as threatening when it's only 2 inches tall.  It's actually kind of cute.  In fact, I'm waiting on a patents/copyrights for "Teacup Tyrannosaurs", along with "Itty Bitty Brachiosaur", and a set called "Tiny Terrarium of Terror", which includes small Plesiosaurs, Icthyosaurs, and a handful of Parasaurolophuses.  

In the end, I essentially wrote her a prescription for a God Complex with a full bottle of either potential Cretaceous Era disaster or Jurrasic Era joy.  One that she may get refilled at leisure.  Hopefully nobody dies this time.

Mother's Day 2010

Hey reader's.  Sorry it's been a while.  I've run into many recent problems in life.  Housing issues, car problems, and most current- horrible sick time. 
Well, to keep the blog going I am posting my current Mother's Day card which should be titled "Thanks For Not Murdering Us".  As my two closest brother's and I probably should've been.  The fact we didn't get heinously murdered by our Mother is a testament to her patience and tolerance.  Surely reaching beyond the normal motherly limits.  Far, far beyond.  So here is a big giant: THANKS, I LOVE YOU MOM!

Christmas cards 2009!

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately.  Life has been beating the crap out of me.  Life can be a real jerk sometimes.
Anyhow, I spent a month making and deleting or losing(computer crashes) or being just not happy with how the good ones turned out.  In the end I just stuck with two small but nice ones.
Hope readers enjoy.

 

Christmas cards day 25: The Humbug

Ugk! I do like how the airbrushed, made up Humbug, came out- very beetle like.

Anyway, I worked all day and feel like a big steamy pile-o-you-know-what, so I made this card up on the spot instead of finishing one of the 30 others. I hope people get the spirit of "jest".(which i believe was what humbug once actually meant)

Until next year...

Christmas cards day 24: Tim the Cat Antlers

This one is for a particular person.

The atrocities of dressing up pets for holidays should be a torturous requirement.

My grandma had a really obese chihuahua we would put antlers on, and it was freakin hilarious. One more Christmas card post left. Many ideas and not much time.

Christmas cards day 23: Snowman Dancing

My second new card! Yay, for newness!

I have a strange fondness for the "Happy Holidays" font.

I wanted another "artsy-snob", "elegant" one. The Grain/snow doesn't show up so well on this small version, but it will suffice for me to know it looks better in higher resolution.

Christmas cards day 22: One of These-Stockings

New one 5 minutes after midnight. Technically late, but I personally think not, I am still in Monday mode.
Patterned after the "One of these..." cards I have done.