Borderlands 2: Master GEE the Invinci-douche


    Master Gee the Invincible.  As many Borderlands 2 players have learned, Gee is the biggest piece-o-crap battle ever.  Never have I, or many other gamers, been so frustrated. 
    After numerous attempts at defeating this truly invincible boss, I may actually give up.  That is a sad statement from an obsessive gamer.  To give readers an indication of how obsessive I get about being a completionist - I platinum trophied in Dark Souls, touted as one of the hardest games ever.  It was VERY difficult.  To the point of taking a couple months to finish.  Slowly, but surely.  At least if I died, it was usually because I messed up- such as a miss step or an poorly timed parry.  Not because an untouchable guy and his magical hydras were stopping the game system itself.

     Master Gee is a very large hitch in this game.  A problem that needs fairly immediate attention.  After roughly 25 attempts, through many variously suggested methods of fighting him, I have had the PS3 freeze upon his death at a 100% rate.  Every.  Single.  Time. 
     As soon as his life hits 0 (regardless of if I'm unloading a rocket to his face, or the acid eats up the last of his health bar) the game freezes.  The closest I've gotten after his death has been the little yellow check mark that travel to the upper right corner and turns into a "Turn In!" box almost made it to the "D" of Defeat Master Gee on the picture below. (the check mark isn't in this pic)  Some might ask, "Why do you keep trying?"  Well, other gamers on the forums have, after many, many attempts gotten his death to not freeze the system, and they are able to turn it in.  So I keep plugging away, but that may change.  I may just say F*** it, and abandon this DLC like one of it's lost treasures.  Granted this treasure is very rusty. 

     The pic is one of the times Master Gee and his wang gang all vanished.  That is a Dahl brand spiker gun, by the way.  I like the weapon a lot, slow bullets, but the small slagsplosions once the bursts hit is wonderful.
     In Borderlands 2 I enjoyed myself thoroughly, even if I got repeatedly slaughtered by Super Badass Nomads or got squashed by Terramorphous's body falling on me. 
     As for this last boss of Borderlands 2's first DLC: Captain Scarlett & Her Pirate's Booty, this is a whole different story.  It's not that he was designed poorly, there are a couple things that could be fixed or modified- say the almost ludicrously high spawn rate of his hard-to-kill worms and their homing globs of acid.  Yes, homing.  I've seen on many of my attempts to beat Gee that worms facing away will shoot massively damaging globs in an impossible arc towards me, following my path.  I haven't seen any other enemies shoot things backwards from where they are facing.
     It isn't that he randomly either doesn't take the damage from the acid spout shooting him full blast in the crotch, or that occasionally when he does it's at one quarter the rate he typically does.
     It isn't that it takes 30 plus minutes of struggling to wittle him down.  I can deal with long, drawn out boss battles. (I have seen some people clear him out faster, but I am not blessed with that super gear- even using the Bee+CC it takes me a long time from all the running around and dodging)
     It isn't the problem of when you go into "Fight for Your Life" mode, it's damn near impossible to recover because all the worms continuously bob up and down and 80% of the time they inexplicably become immune to any damage. 
     It isn't the fact that on multiple occasions Gee and ALL of the worms magically vanish, leaving me locked in the arena where the battle is supposed to be taking place, forcing me to quit and restart the game and get all the way back to him.
     It isn't the fact he has been known to erase character saves.  Lately I've gotten in the habit of backing them all up, just in case.

     It IS the fact his super power is being able to freeze your game after killing him.  On any of the systems.  That indicates a very poorly judged release of the game.  Many gamers would rather wait for DLC to be released if they knew it wouldn't have an ENORMOUSLY aggravating bug/glitch.
     I am absolutely sick of trying.  Once a patch is released, and I can actually finish this mission, I will never play this DLC again.  I have no care about getting any loot drops, no want for the Seraph crystals that buy sub par "Rare" weapons that are less useful than anything I've gotten in the main game, no care for anything other than completing this quest and being rid of this problem.

     Yes- I have been scouring the net and forums for ways of skirting this issue to finish the mission and get credit for the kill, but NOTHING has worked.  In all honesty this single problem has caused me to lose respect for this game.  Sure, it's nice to get DLC so quickly, but what's the use if you run into an impassable wall?  I literally CANNOT finish this game.  Not because of a lack of skill, but because the game is broken and prevents the completion.  I can't recall any other game that is so infuriating.  Being repeatedly knocked off ledges by Terramorphous is less of a pain.  Hyperius's unblockable explosions are an absurd mechanic, and even that is at least tolerable.  But both Hyperius and Terramorphous are at least still possible to finish, albeit with lot's of deaths, without freezing the whole system.

     I mean if it takes "nerfing" this boss, do it.  Drop the worm spawn rate if necessary.  There were MANY times where I had killed the first worm and got Gee to absorb the acid, and I somehow had 5 more worms to deal with.  Then another 2-3 pop out right after.  Completely absurd spawn rate.  That is multiplayer numbers.  Why am I taking on scaled rates in offline singleplayer?  It shouldn't be a parabolic curve to 9 worms in less than 3 minutes.  Happens to me every other, to every third, attempt.  That's even if I plow through quickly with a Bee shield and Conference Call shotgun.  Which I do NOT prefer to play with.  I like a bit of a challenge, but keep them in my backpack as a precautionary measure.(Thanks to the player that traded them to me!) 
     Even the fact a person can only fight him once every 24 hours doesn't bother me. (In part because the game would have to register a single time of beating him.)  It is a nice touch.  I don't mind waiting to face Hyperius once a day.  It might be nicer if he dropped slightly better loot, but that doesn't really matter.

     Gearbox/2k/whoever worked on this DLC- PLEASE remedy this as fast as possible.  Your fans have high expectations, but we also will wait for things.  I've seen on the forums talk of planning Borderlands 3 and I can only say that these DLCs need to be finished and ready before another full game is made.

     Done for now.  Good luck to any poor suckers like me that can't pass the freezing, hopefully a patch arrives swiftly.

     Side note- anyone else's characters seem to move slower than usual when "running" in Gee's cave area?  It happens to me all the time.  What an annoyance- it's like I'm running at a walk pace.



I'm Pro Obama.

Here's the short of it summed up by someone called "GiantPanda" from the comments on the page:
(I changed it very minutely, but they should still get the credit)
Because life is not solely about money.
Because human rights include getting married, getting health care, getting an education, and getting assistance when in need.
These things are what we as a nation should be working towards.
This is what we should be striving for.
I made this a while back and forgot about it, so here it is.
Vice Presidential debate humor.
With all due respect, that's a bunch of...
(I believe the original photo was from Charlie Neibergall/AP Photo)

Some Political Crap

     With the elections coming soon, I feel I should post a little bit on my personal standings.

     My apologies in advance- I would like to state here that I am prObama.  Mitt Romney seems like a terrible choice, and Paul Ryan makes him even worse.  Because I am not a writer I will post links and pics, with a few comments.  This is really scatterbrained and all over the place, but that's ok, you don't have to read on.
     First up: Mr. John Scalzi is an excellent writer and has a post that says far more than I ever could.  Please read it:
And a follow up post, with many comments that I'd recommend be read:
     A Side Note:  If you're a fan of Scifi- buy his books- particularly Old Man's War.  Top notch stuff.

This fellow, from the last link's comments, hits the nail on the head, this is why I'm voting Obama:
Giant Panda says: Because life is not solely about money.
Because human rights include getting married, getting health care, getting an education, and getting assistance when in need.
     These things are what we as a nation should be working towards.
     This is what we should be striving for.

     Second:  Many examples of what are mostly Republican flubs.  How are these people maintaining any kind of power in government?  These people make me fear the path our country is heading into.  It is, quite frankly, a horrifying thought that these people are governing lives.

Here's a pic of some of the above quotes:
I must say I am absolutely disgusted by how foolish some of these people are.  This is a PERFECT example of why EDUCATION should be a MUCH larger priority.

Now a Pic that shows the actual GROWTH of private sector jobs that Mr. Romney still believes isn't actually increasing. :
A gif of Paul Ryan's thoughts for money distribution:
     Personally I know debt is a problem, it won't magic itself away, it'll take lot's of time, and it'll get worse before it gets better.   

     There seems to be a tendency for many Americans to believe that initiated plans need to work with immediacy, and that is quite impossible.  Things take time.  The pace is slow going, but it IS going.  The economy has turned towards the better and Obama is steering it that way.  There are reasons to believe Romney would slam dunk us back into recession.
     I believe Mitt Romney only understands that wealth means power, but he has no clue how to use it. The GOP has become a mythological dragon- hoarding wealth for wealth's sake. 
     The GOP in general has seemingly lost their minds- focusing on NON-ISSUES-
NON-ISSUE 1) Gay marriage should NOT be an issue, two consenting adults should be allowed to wed.  How can idiots like Miss Kardashian get a marriage that lasts only 72 hours, and it is considered sacred, but 2 loving homosexuals being married isn't?  I hope my generation remedies this.  They deserve FULL RIGHTS!  Plus- regardless of what some religions think, the CONSTITUTION promotes freedom of religion- so I'd say start a church that promotes gay marriage.

NON-ISSUE 2) Women's reproductive issues...  should be handled BY WOMEN.  This shouldn't be even close to a problem.  Sure, throw a couple males in if you want, but IT SHOULD BE DECIDED PRIMARILY BY WOMEN!  Not by old males living with an outdated world's ideals.
     If someone stabs or shoots you, are you then forced to live with the blade or bullet stuck there for 9 months?  No, it is stupid.
     I truthfully believe Mitt Romney is detached from real life.  How can he run a country when all he wants is power.  Nothing he, or the GOP, has said recently makes me believe they know ANYTHING about a majority of America(middle and lower class).  The GOP is full of unscientific claims, blatant stupidity and infighting.  How can they even expect to run something when all their old policies(George W. Bush's) ran us into the ground and are now being blamed on Obama, who is actually doing some good.  I have to say that I am not "for" all the things he's done, but honestly Romney is a monster and will only drive us into a worse situation. 
     We are on the verge of a disastrous hurricane, and Romney think governmental disaster aid programs are “immoral.”  REALLY?!?  That this problem should be on the state, and then on to the private sector?  Romney needs to be slapped.
     His stances on issues waiver, he says things simply because it could possibly get votes, and he bashes Obama on the birth certificate, but won't release his own taxes information.  I can't trust someone that feels like a robot.  As near as I can tell Romney's campaign is- "Vote for me, I have lots of money, and a secret plan that I can't tell anyone."
     I mean there are Republican House and Senate members who vote against perfectly conservative policies because it is more important to oppose Obama than to look towards the fixing of problems.  No compromising?  How can that help America?  Absolutely absurd.  These extreme right wing conservatives need to be flushed out with a younger and more thoughtful, educated group.
     If Mitt Romney becomes President, we might as well have elected the Joker from the Dark Knight Returns.  With the whole of the "Conservative" powers behind him things would look ominous indeed.   The only good thing about that is we can impeach if necessary.

     Even if you don't agree with me, please vote.  I'm done for now. 


A New Conan the Barbarian WITH Schwarzenegger!

     Just read these articles:


     With the announcement of the film The Legend of Conan, I am filled with hope and fear.  Hope that they make a movie that lasts, and fear that they may create another travesty to tarnish Robert E. Howard's legacy.
     I pray that they'll draw heavily on the original Robert E. Howard material.  Robert E. Howard's Conan story "Hour of the Dragon" in particular, as that has an aged Conan at an appropriate time in his life for Schwarzenegger to play.
     Considering the first Conan film was quite amazing for the time, and still holds up well, this could be good.  It COULD be.  I do have some doubts.  Please, please, PLEASE use the original Robert E. Howard material.  It is the reason why Conan has endured all these years.  They are good.  Do not deviate, use them.
     They should even stick with Mako's intro monologue from the Destroyer movie:
"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And onto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!"
     Although I am looking forward to this, first things first- Conan wasn't a viking, he was Cimmerian, and his god was Crom.  There are times he runs into AEsir and Vanir, he was NOT one of them.  I would plead to the studios to not make the mistake of screwing with the Robert E. Howard stories.  His negligent Cimmerian god Crom shaped his growth.  It's how he became a doer, learned to rely solely on himself.

     If they want to make an unbelievable Conan movie- simply make Tower of the Elephant with Momoa. An adaptation as close as possible- the stories resonate because they are GOOD, stick to them and people will love it. 
     I would even settle for Momoa playing flashback encouters telling the tale of the Tower of the Elephant.
     I am serious, Tower of the Elephant contains wonderful elements of fantasy and science fiction.  Conan is pretty new in to city life and is looking to gain notoriety and gold.  In the process he meets with the alien creature Yag-Kosha and defeats the dark sorcerer Yara.  Tower of the Elephant is an exceptional story in itself.  Don't mess with it and you'll reap massive rewards.         Here's a page of the encounter with Yag-Kosha.  It is very moving and could be a phenomenal scene if filmed properly.  (From the Busiek and Nord series- I would highly recommend picking up these trades at a local comic store.  They are very good.  So is the newer Brian wood Conan series- both from Dark Horse Comics)

     Why Jason Momoa?  He can act just fine, as seen in Game of Thrones, he just needs a better director.  A much better script would've been highly beneficial in the last Conan movie as well.  It suffered from the disease plaguing most movies as of late- TERRIBLE WRITING.  Studios rush the filmmaking process through to make money.

     Come on people- take the time to edit and clean things up before rushing to get a movie out and turn a profit.  It's so simple, why aren't the heads of film companies learning this?  Give the creators(writers and directors, etc.) freedom and TIME to hone the craft.  Do you want to make the next Dark Knight Rises?  Time + talent + creative freedom = BLOCKBUSTER.
     Without those things you end up with abominations like Prometheus.  It was a beautiful mess.  It is very sad that it took TWO writers to make that mess.  They should've taken another year to edit and made something far better.

     Back to Conan.  Take the necessary time to edit and perfect the story.  Make this worth watching and you'll gain all the fans you want, and reap the subsequent tide of monetary goodness.


Borderlands 2: DLC's Captain Scarlett & Mr. Torgue's

     First off - About Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage- after seeing the trophy listings and looking on the forums- why does everyone think it'll be some kind of racing game?  The checked flags design is part of Torgue guns paint scheme.  Sure, there could be some racing elements, but I think it's just a part of the Torgue company's logo and not indicative of a raceway flag. 
     I would even guess that Mr. Torgue is obsessed with EXPLOSIONS!!!, and possibly would enjoy an Underdome-type slaughter-fest.  Honestly, I hope for a game like The Secret Armory of General Knoxx.  It was so expansive and fun.  Maybe throw an Underdome/Slaughterdome in as an optional mission.  It should be said  that adding the fast travel to Scarlett's Booty(lol) definitely was a GREAT choice, it was awfully tedious having to drive back and forth through Knoxx so frequently.
     Looking forward to seeing what Mr. Torgue's has to offer, even though I personally don't like Torgue manufactured goods.
     So after playing the crap out of Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty, I must say- it's both highly entertaining and extremely frustrating.   
     The main mission and side stories are all well and fun(note: I played as Zer0 in play through 2.5), but the last 2 missions are ludicrously difficult.  I mean TRULY, ABSURDLY, OUTRAGEOUSLY difficult.  Some gamers can afford to waste massive amounts of time on boss fights and raids, but some of us are not. 
     I like to enjoy the completion of the game and Hyperius and Master Gee are hampering that.  Then when they are beaten, I've heard there are glitches that prevent credit from being given.  It happened to me with Hyperius- we got a 4 man team to beat him over a 45 minute fight, then game froze.  It's also happened to me with Vermivorous on numerous occasions.  Every time we've beaten him, the system either freezes up or he just vanishes with like 10% health remaining.  I love this game, but these problems need to be addressed quickly- as they are killing the enjoyment factor quite swiftly. 
     Even Terramorphous is much easier than these two, and he took me forever to beat.  Getting knocked off a cliff repeatedly and forced to restart the fight gets tiresome REALLY fast.  At some point- a fellow gamer gave me a Bee shield and Conference call shotgun to speed things up, and I thank them much for that.

     Anyway - I do appreciate the fact that both Hyperius and Gee can only be beaten once every 24 hours.  On the flip side making the sub-par Seraph weapons take 14 days of raids to gather enough Seraph crystals to buy is just stupid.  After a week of trying, I've only managed to gather 9 crystals.  That's a single Hyperius raid that didn't freeze on me with a groups of 4 people playing.  I'm getting to the point of why even bother. 
     So- I'm going to attempt to beat Gee and call it quits until the next DLC release.  Hopefully it'll be better balanced and less buggy.  I'm more than willing to wait for a bug-free game.


Borderlands 2: Short Review

     With the new Borderlands 2 DLC - Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty- set to release tomorrow, I figured I could throw up a small review of the main game.

What has Claptrap been doing?!? Those posters, that oil!
     Well... as many already have found out this game is crazy, addictive, and absolutely hilarious. It is a must play.

     The humor is itself worth watching on it's own- much like watching a movie.  Handsome Jack and Tiny Tina have wonderful moments of laugh out loud hilarity.  There are hundreds of quoteable lines, and I must mention the Patricia Tannis torture ECHOs made me stop playing because I was laughing so hard.  The things they did to her ceiling chairs and her reactions are priceless.

     The few downsides are noticeble, especially at the higher levels.  One thing I definitely say is the difficulty hits ludicrously high spikes at times.

      For instance- there was one point where I had a group of guys 4 levels lower than our 4 man team was completely decimated, and because of the spawn point being placed where it was(near the elevator entrance underground in Sawtooth Cauldron) we were wedged in and repeatedly dying without a chance of escaping.  It was, quite literally- Spawn, Die, Repeat. 

     Another issue is the fact that not all characters are equal.  Axton, and the new Mechromancer Gaige, are super easy to play as.  Axtons turret is WAY stronger than it should be, and I've found that Gaige's Deathtrap can plow through enemies many, MANY levels beyond mine.  Whereas my level 50 Zero seems to be fairly useless towards the end of playthrough 2, even after respeccing a dozen times I still find that I'm getting 1-shotted by SIMPLE BANDITS.  He's fine at a distance, but if you get swarmed, you're screwed.  And the Bloodshed tree became unuseable for me roughly 25% through playthrough 2.  That's with a full on melee build.  Trust me, I am a fairly decent player, so I do know what I'm doing.  As a side note- Maya and Salvador are both decent and their skill trees are all fairly useful.  I quite enjoy playing as Maya, but the gunzerker is just not my thing. 

     Anyway, despite the difficulty spikes, this game is absurdly amazing.  Play it.